Beauty

 

  

Isaiah 61:3 (King James Version)

 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

The prophet Isaiah describes a God who will replace His people's suffering with joy, and remove the ashes and grime that cover them to reveal the beauty beneath.  I found this here 

Do you see the red bird in the second picture?  How beautiful is the picture of red in the middle of white and pure snow.  Pretty amazing.  He shed His blood so we could live.  Live a life of joy with Him!   

Funny

I can't keep this to myself. The other night it was my turn to put Lawson to bed. I tell her to go to the bathroom before she gets in bed. Then. She screams. Runs into her room..... screaming, "Baby Jesus fell in the toilet! Baby Jesus fell in the toilet!" Bawling. Big tears streaming down her face. Both Leighton and I run into the bathroom sure enough and find Baby Jesus was in the toilet. Leighton looks up at me while he is sticking his hand in the toilet and says, "This needs to be documented, for sure:)"

Thank goodness she had not gone to the bathroom yet. That would have been horrible (for Leighton that is;)" So, Lawson just so you don't forget. Jesus rode the tractor and fell out into the toilet. Your sweet Daddy cleaned Baby Jesus and He slept with you. Maybe we need to put Him back in the nativity box:)

Memories

Snow happens to hold a lot of my happiest memories. Growing up in Alabama, we were blessed to have a few really amazing snow storms. So, when snow was being predicted for Columbia, Leighton and I decided to stay home instead of going on our marriage retreat weekend. We wanted to be able to have fun with our kids in the snow. You know it could be another ten years before we get another snow:)

My mom was here, but I was so sad that my dad wasn't here. You see, he was the one who helped me have some of the fondest memories of snow. He would take us to the farm. Hook up the sled behind the truck and drive us around. Fun. Laughing. No fear. Free. Beauty. We would ice skate on ponds. Snowball fights were a must. Sledding down big hills. They are etched into my memory like it was yesterday.

You see this man has been instrumental in my life. He has loved me as I was his own from the very beginning. He started dating my mom when I was seven. He married his first wife, Jean, knowing that she would die. She had Cystic Fibrosis. They had Anna and then two years later Jean died. So, when he married my mom we became a blended family. At some point, I started to call him dad. My real father wasn't around much. Gregg became my dad. He loved me as his own. A gift from God. Seriously. A gift.

But, I wish he had been here this weekend so I could have thrown this on him....
'Cause I am a fighter......I totally got Mac with that big one:) I would have also done this...
then this.....
then this.......
We always make up. Because we love each other:) Thank you, Daddy for sharing Momma with us. Especially on Valentine's Day. You mean the world to me. I am so thankful that you are my Daddy! Thank you for loving me as I were your own. Your love has transformed me. Your love is a gift from God. I am so thankful that I now see Him in you.

Don't worry though, we saved some snowballs for the next time you come to South Carolina...hehe!

God Is Love

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
1 John 4:7-16

Cans

“Someone has said that success comes in cans and failure in cannots. Believing that you can succeed at Christian growth and maturity takes no more effort than believing you cannot succeed. So why not believe that you can walk in faith and in the Spirit, that you can resist the temptations of the world, the flesh and the devil, and that you can grow to maturity as a Christian. The following “Twenty Cans of Success,” taken from God’s Word, will expand your knowledge of our faith-object, the Almighty God. Building your faith by internalizing these truths will lift you from the miry clay of the cannots to sit with Christ in the heavenlies:

Twenty Cans of Success
1. Why should I say I can’t when the Bible says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil. 4:13)?
2. Why should I lack when I know that God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Phil.4:19)?
3. Why should I fear when the Bible says God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7)?
4. Why should I lack faith to fulfill my calling knowing that God has allotted to me a measure of faith (Rom. 12:3)?
5. Why should I be weak when the Bible says that the Lord is the strength of my life and that I will display strength and take action because I know God (Psa. 27:1;Dan. 11:32)?
6. Why should I allow Satan supremacy over my life when He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4)?
7. Why should I accept defeat when the Bible says that God always leads me in triumph (2 Cor. 2:14)?
8. Why should I lack wisdom when Christ became wisdom to me from God and God gives wisdom to me generously when I ask Him for it (1 Cor. 1:30; Jas. 1:5)?
9. Why should I be depressed when I can recall to mind God’s lovingkindness, compassion and faithfulness and have hope (Lam. 3:21-23)?
10. Why should I worry and fret when I can cast all my anxiety on Christ who cares for me (1 Peter 5:7)?
11. Why should I ever be in bondage knowing that there is liberty where the Spirit of the Lord is (Gal 5:1)?
12. Why should I feel condemned when the Bible says I am not condemned because I am in Christ (Rom. 8:1)?
13. Why should I feel alone when Jesus said He is with me always and He will never leave me nor forsake me (Matt. 28:20; Heb. 13:5)?
14. Why should I feel accursed or that I am the victim of bad luck when the Bible says that Christ redeemed me from the curse of the law that I might receive His Spirit (Gal. 3:13,14)?
15. Why should I be discontented when I, like Paul, can learn to be content in all my circumstances (Phil. 4:11)?
16. Why should I feel worthless when Christ became sin on my behalf that I might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor. 5:21)?
17. Why should I have a persecution complex knowing that nobody can be against me when God is for me (Rom. 8:31)?
18. Why should I be confused when God is the author of peace (not confusion) and He gives me knowledge through His indwelling Spirit (1 Cor. 14:33; 2:12)?
19. Why should I feel like a failure when I am a conqueror in all things through Christ (Rom. 8:37)?
20. Why should I let the pressures of life bother me when I can take courage knowing that Jesus has overcome the world and its tribulations (John 16:33)?”

“Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ.” By Neil T. Anderson

Ebenezer

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer, for he said, "Till now the Lord has helped us."

Back in December I sent a text message to my dear friend, Kristin. I asked her if I would always be traumatized by everything bad that happens in my life. She responded by saying, "You are in a season of recovery and in this season everything is sensitive and you are in process. This is part of your experience and effects who u are but doesn't define you. The truth is you are growing and that is a tough process. I encourage you to look back on your Ebenezers and let it lead you to worship in place of anxiety." Profound. But, what was Ebenezer?

I was actually embarrassed I didn't know who or what she meant by "Ebenezer." So, I went straight to my bible and looked up "Ebenezer." I went to 1 Samuel and read this passage. Warren Wiersbe explains in his commentary that Ebenezer means "stone of help." It was a memorial to God's helping His people from the beginning to that very day. Missionary J. Hudson Taylor had a plaque in his home that read, EBENEZER and JEHOVAH-JIREH. That means, "Thus far the Lord has helped us-The Lord will see to it." This takes care of the past and the future, so why worry about the present? God is in control! (p.165 With the Word.)

Okay dokie. Raise my Ebenezers and worship Him instead. Look how far my sweet Lord has brought me. But, the story gets even sweeter. I have been involved in an amazing study for the past 3 years called Gospel Transformation. A new girl joined our group about 3 weeks ago. So, last week I tell them about raising my Ebenezers. And this week she comes into bible study with a bag. A bag full of rocks. Not just any rocks. Rocks from Maine. Have you ever seen these rocks or felt them. Amazing. Seriously. Ridiculous. I got chills down my spine when I picked up my rock.

She then proceeded to tell us how the stones got to be smooth. By the waves crashing on the beach. Really. We were talking about sanctification. Perfect example of how the Lord prunes the good for the best. Just like with the rocks, the crashing of the waves help to make the stones smooth. Beautiful. Grateful. Humbled.

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

You are Mine

 

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

My sweet, dear friend painted this for me for Christmas. Precious. Treasured. I grew up with Laura. Her mother set my mother and step father up on their first date. The Lord reunited our friendship about a year and a half ago when she and her family moved to Columbia from Birmingham. Crazy. We live less than one mile from each other. She has been such a blessing to me. She always points me to the Truth. I truly treasure our friendship.

This painting is beautiful. I wish you could see it in person. It is hanging on my den wall next to my big window. When I have my quiet time I look up at this picture numerous times and it just makes my heart smile. Then I watch the sun rise out of the window and thank Him for all of my blessings and the hard times where He has drawn me closer to Him. He is the anchor of my soul.....

"we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:18b-20

Only God

Only God.

The first day I started graduate school, my husband lost his job. The day I drive to school to quit, my husband got a job. Only God. I have been wanting to write for a week or so and it just hasn't happened. I had a midterm due yesterday and well, life is keeping me pretty busy.

The day I drove to school to quit, I was listening to a song and just felt the Lord saying, "It isn't time yet, Allison." Ok, Lord. Whatever. That seriously had been my attitude for the past few days. I was seriously on my last leg, emotionally and physically. That very morning I had been reading Lamentations 3. I think I read it two or three times. And I am pretty sure I read the last time with my eyes rolled back in my head. I was tired. Exhausted.

So, I proceed into chapel at school. I sit down and open my Bible and read Lamentations 3 again. This time my eyes were focused. The first scripture that comes on the big screen is.....Lamentations 3. Yep, Lord...I am listening. Only God. We watched this awesome film by Tim Keller called, "The Prodigal God." I realized that I was acting as the older son. The past eight weeks had been rough. I felt an almost sense of entitlement. Like this should not be happening. I had already been through enough. Seriously, Lord couldn't you just pick someone else for a little while? A sense of self righteousness. Oh, sweet Jesus, how sorry I am. I quickly figured out that this whole time Leighton had been without a job, I was saying I was trusting in Him, but actually not really trusting Him. Yes, I got up every morning at 5 and read the Bible. I learned so much during that time with the Lord. But, what He taught me that day was so worth it.

I came home that day and told my husband that I had decided to stay in school. As he walked out the door for another interview, he told me that one job told him that they didn't want him. I kissed him goodbye and told him it was obviously not meant to be. I headed back to my room with my Bible and phone. I started texting all of my close friends to pray for him. Then I laid down on the bed and just submitted to God. There were no "what if's". No tears. No pleadings. No doubting. No questioning. Just trusting. Really trusting. I felt different. For the first time in a long time I felt a sense of peace. For an hour and a half I just prayed and read the Bible.

Then my husband called and told me that he got the job. Only God. Relief. But, actually if you want to know the sad truth my panic attacks proceeded to get worse.
I could not figure out why I would be having panic attacks. I was about to lose it. And I did. I went for a run with two of my close friends and just lost it. Came home and lost it. Tears. Tears. Tears and more tears. My head on my husbands lap. Scared.

But, you know what? That is where my healing started to take place. I had been trying to hold it together for months. Just trying to keep everything in order. I was trying to do everything and not letting God take control. I let it all out and it felt so good. I was exhausted physically and mentally. My sweet husband loved me so tenderly. He took care of the kids. He let me sleep. My friends loved me and took care of me too. They rallied around me with encouragement, love and support. They provided meals for us for a week. For a week! What a blessing my friends have been. Such a sweet and precious gift from the Lord.

I needed rest. And He provided it. He always provides. Always. Only God. I can't do anything without Him. Nothing. He is my life. I love Him more than ever. Not because Leighton now has a job, not because my panic attacks have ended, not because I feel rested. I love Him because He is here always and He knows. He knows. He loves. He provides. He is our shelter. He is the lifter of our heads. He holds us in the palm of His hand. He is there with us all the time. We are never without Him. We just have to choose to let Him in. To let Him be in charge and not want to control our lives. Submit and surrender to His will for our lives. It is hard, but oh so worth it.

"I will give you the treasure of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name." Isaiah 45:3

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."
Isaiah 30:15

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him."
Isaiah 30:18

"Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."
Psalm 34:8

"For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light."
Psalm 36:9

"For I am ready to fall, and my pain is ever before me. I confess my iniquity; I am sorry for my sin."
Psalm 38:17

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
Psalm 51:10

Sweet friends, the Enemy will do ANYTHING to get us to believe lies. He does not want us to believe that God is all sufficient and all powerful. But, He is and always has been. God's Word is the Truth and we can fight the Enemy with the Truth. This battle is the Lord's and He will win. He will. Only God. It is His Promise.

"And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

"So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth."
Genesis 9:12-17



Leighton pointed out this rainbow one morning on my way to school. As I was driving to school I looked to see the rainbow again and I saw the beginning and the end of it. I couldn't see the in between:) Amazing God!

unshaken

God of All Comfort
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and) God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.

Broken

Over our Spring Break, or Family Griswald vacation, we traveled to Birmingham, Columbus, Georgia and then to good ole Decatur. While we were home visiting my parent's, my mom gave me this china doll. I had actually forgotten about it. But, when she told me about it...we both just wept.

You see this china doll is not like all the other china doll's out there. My mom made this for me. She told me that when all my friends were getting china dolls, she wanted me to have one so bad and she could not afford one. So, she ordered one and when it came she sewed the doll together and found this precious dress for her to wear.

And on the bloomers she had attached a little post-it note that said, "Allison's china doll. I made it." This doll is precious to me. It is precious for so many reasons, but most of all because it represents what she has done her whole life....done whatever she could to provide the best for everyone......no matter what.

What you can't see is the the foot of this doll. (I didn't realize I had posted the picture of the foot:))Apparently it got broken somehow and was glued back on. Broken. This word came to me today and it just took my breath away.

We are all broken. We all have some sort of hurt, pain or suffering. Whether it be now or something in the past. My childhood was broken. It was broken because I had a father who was and is still sick. Mentally ill. Addict. Abuser. (Boy, that feels better to get that out there.) He was/is broken. His childhood was broken.

God was there with me in the pain of my childhood. I would guess that He was crying as He watched me grieve and long for the love of an earthly father. He knew. He knew then what He was going to do with my life. He could see it and I couldn't. He knew that He was going to redeem the brokenness of my life. He knew that one day I would love Him more than I can even put into words. He knew that He was going to give me Gregg, my stepfather. He knew that Leighton would be my husband. He knew.

Why is there so much pain and suffering? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Pretty deep stuff. My professor asked this question yesterday after we had been lectured to about Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders. Why? Why would there be such pain and suffering? My answer to this question is, if there was no pain and no suffering there would be no need for God. No need for Jesus.

Jesus was not broken. He had no sin. He was perfect. Yet, He died for us. In Psalm 34:20 is say's, "He keeps all His bones; not one of them is broken." After Jesus died on the cross, the Jews asked Pilate to break the legs of the three that had been crucified. "So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with Him. But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs. But, one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. He who saw it has borne witness - His testimony is true, and He knows that He is telling the truth - that you may also believe. For these things took place that the Scripture might be fulfilled: 'Not one of His bones will be broken.' And again another Scripture says, 'They will look on him whom they have pierce.'" John 19:32-37

God knew. God knew that His Son's legs would not be broken. He knew that Jesus would be raised from the dead and walk. His Son would not be broken. Y'all, we are broken. But, we are deeply loved children of a living God. My genetic code might have a little bit of my earthly father, but God took the evil and replaced it with the unbroken Cross of Jesus. My identity is in Christ. The One Who died for me. The One Who died for you.

After Jacob dies and Joseph is about to bury his father, his brother's say to him: "When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, 'It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.' So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, 'Your father gave this command before he died, 'Say to Joseph, Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, 'Behold, we are your servants.' But Joseph said to them, 'Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.' Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."

Dear Momma,

Dear Momma,

Happy Birthday! You know that I am awful about sending birthday cards. You have to remind me to send one to dad. That is bad. But this is good. I LOVE you. I love you more than I can even put into words, but here goes.

This is what I love about you:

I love that you have more energy than you know what to do with. (Ok, mainly the times that you make me finish things that I don't want to finish;))
I love that you are so strong.
I love that even though you have been hurt, you have let the Lord heal your heart and soul.
I love that you love the Lord with all your heart and soul.
I love the way you love me. I use to not love the way you loved me...but I am different now;)
I love the way you love your grandkids.
I love that you love to spend time with them. Quality time.
I love that you love to take pictures, since I don't.
I love that you love to teach.
I love that gray streak in your hair. I love it even more when people ask you how you do that to your hair....hehe:)
I love that you were Homecoming Queen.
You are beautiful. Inside and Out.
You give and give and then give some more.
I love that God picked YOU to be my momma. He is so wise:)
I admire you, Momma. I do.
Oh, and I am still amazed that you put on 4 amazing weddings for your girls.
I love that God put dad in your life. He has given me a true glimpse at what an earthly father is. What a gift.
I love that when I walk into your house now, it smells like Jack and Tay's house. Such sweet and precious memories. They would be so proud of you, Momma. I know they can see you from Heaven, but you are such a different person than you were even 19 years ago. I can't imagine what it has been like for you to not have your parents. You lost them way to soon. Way too soon. But, they see you. And I know they are grinning from ear to ear:)

You grew up and married someone who was not so kind to you. He did things that aren't right. But, what he did give you was two children that love you more than words can say. Then He gave you Gregg. Praise the Lord. God is redeeming our past. He is taking those past hurts and pains and restoring us. How amazing is that? How amazing is He? WHOA. You have endured, Momma. You have persevered. You have taught your girls so much. I love that you love unconditionally. The past three years have been amazing to see how our relationship has changed. I believe it has changed because our relationship with the Lord has deepened. We see each other through God's eyes. Unconditional love.

My prayer for you today is that you experience God's love in a real tangible way. Even though I won't be there(and I know this is hard, since I am the favorite;)) that you be surrounded with love. Rest is God's love for you and ENJOY:) Don't worry about growing old. Be young at heart.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." 1 John 4:7-11

I love you, Lile, Lile the crocodile:)

Four R's

What do you get when you take a girl away for a weekend in the mountains with amazing friends, beautiful place and Jesus? One happy camper:) I had the most amazing weekend at Windy Gap (Young Life Camp). I have been trying to digest all that was taken in over the weekend. It almost took my breath away(and those who know me, know that is hard to do because I can barely keep my mouth shut from talking so much;))

I have to admit I was a little nervous about going. I haven't been to camp in a long time. I haven't been to a Christian camp since high school, yes...seventeen years to be exact. WHOA.....feeling old, but 35 is the new 25, right? Anywho. As you know, my darling, precious husband lost his job 2 weeks ago. His last day of work is tomorrow. I started graduate school. I am away from my children more than I ever have in their life. We would love to sell our home. That is just to name a few. But, I think it is enough...don't you?;) But, I was anything but nervous as soon as I stepped foot onto the grounds of Windy Gap.

We arrived when it was dark. I couldn't see what it looked like and could not wait until the morning to see how beautiful it was. We unpacked and went to our first "club". We sang. We laughed at some of the funniest skits I have ever seen. There were four ladies who call themselves "The Couch Potato Girls." The first lady gave her talk Friday night. It was about "Radical Rest." Are you resting in who God created you to be? Whoa, Lord....I don't really know how to rest. What is rest? Radical rest is falling at Jesus' feet and resting. Or laying your head in His lap. Whatever you do to feel close to the Lord.

The second lady talked about "Radical Relationships." Are you satisfied with your relationship with God? With Jesus? With others? It is our job to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Am I doing that? How can I glorify and enjoy Him? I haven't been feeling too much joy lately. Mostly fear. Fear isn't from the Lord. After her talk we were given the opportunity for quiet time with the Lord. I found one of the most beautiful spots I have ever laid my eyes upon. Imagine with me please....beautiful green grassy hill with creek down below. Bright beautiful blue sky with white fluffy clouds. Birds chirping. Wind blowing. Shoes off. Toes between the grass. Bible. Notebook. Scriptures that they gave us:

Psalm 139:13-15 (New International Version)

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Isaiah 43:1

1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Psalm 46:10 (New International Version)

10 "Be still, and know that I am God."

Matthew 11:28 (New International Version)

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."


I spent the most glorious hour with the Lord. Glorious. Filled to the rim. Never in my life have I ever felt closer to Him. Sweet and precious time that I will NEVER forget. NEVER.

The third lady spoke on "Radical Release." Oh, sweet Lord. Just what I needed to do. He knew that I had too many burdens and just needed to release them. Release them for good. One of the scriptures that she talked about was:

Hebrews 6:17-20

17Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. 18God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. 19We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.

She talked about deep water. Shallow water. Shallow water feels comfortable. That is where we want to stay. But, deep water is a reality of this life. What anchor am I holding on to? Jesus, pain, resentment, anger, bitterness, past? Are there people in your life that point you back to the anchor? Deep water is hard. It is painful. It hurts. We are all scared of deep water. What I discovered is that I have been clinging to the past. Clinging to the pain of the past. Angry at Leighton's job. Angry at the injustice. Bitter. Clinging to fear. The time had come for me to release it all. There was time after the program to stay and pray. I just prayed. I didn't want to leave. I was scared to release it. It is part of what has defined me for so long. But, not anymore. I had sweet precious friends pray over me. I walked out different than when I walked in.

Sunday morning the fourth lady talked about "Radical Receiving." Forgiveness. Cling to Truth and not LIES. Really just overwhelming. After the talk we were going to take communion and we were asked to clear up any unforgiveness in our hearts before. I just prayed for a long time actually. I had more than I thought that I had. I took communion. Cleansed by the precious body and blood of our Savior. Relief. Change.

Rest, Relationships, Release, Receiving. The four R's = RELIEF. The truth of the matter is this is a daily walk with Christ. I am one step closer to the Lord than I was last Friday. I love Him more today than I did yesterday. I want to glorify Him more than ever. I want to enjoy Him. I want to "really live." To "really live" I am going to have to not fear the deep water or the shallow. I am going to have to put all my hope, trust and faith in the Lord....moment by moment. Swim. One breath at a time. Always looking up to Heaven in thanksgiving for all He has done for me. Amazing. He Redeems. He Restores. Glory be to God in the Highest.

Battles

"This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' " 2 Chronicles 20:15,17


Well, I really don't know where to begin...but here goes. This past Tuesday I started graduate school to get my Masters in Clinical Counseling. I am attending a Christian College to receive this degree and SOOOOO excited about this opportunity that the Lord led me to. On my way home from my first day of class I found out my husband lost his job. Yes. No. Really? Are you serious, God. No, wait....this is a joke. Pinch me please. Wake up. Dream. No. Reality.

Our treasure is NOT here. I know this. I believe this to the core of my being. At first I was very positive. This is in God's plan. He will protect us. He has better plans for us. Our faith will only get stronger. I can't wait to see what He is going to do! Then I got mad. Then I got anxious. Then I got fearful. All the "what ifs?"

So, Friday I go in to see my therapist. I truly believe that in order to be a good therapist, you need to see one also;) Let me tell you I have seen my share of them! I got out a lot of stuff. I cried. I smiled. Relief. For a little while. I go to sleep last night and wake up 3 hours after I fall asleep with a tightness in my chest. "Please, Lord....not now. Please just let me sleep. My children are out of town. All I want is sleep. NOPE. Didn't happen. So, I get up and go read in my journal. Read scripture. Go back to bed. Wake up. Tightness in my chest again. This time I go into the den shut the doors(like I always do) and start writing in my journal.

Submitting my requests to the Lord. Repenting. Requests. Repenting. Then I open my Bible. It is no secret that I suffer from PTSD. Well, every time something scary or fearful happens in my life. I basically get anxious and can't think straight. Fear takes over. But, something I learned on Friday is when you suffer something traumatic, something goes wrong in your brain. You see, I did not use to be this way. I was never anxious before. I mean maybe a little, but never the "I can't breath kind of anxious." Now I do. My brain is different, all because of one event. One event changed my brain and how I react to fearful, stressful and scary situations. This is not an everyday thing. I can handle everyday things, but life changing events. Not so great, folks.

I start reading in John 11. I read about Mary and Martha and their brother Lazarus. Lazarus is sick. Mary and Martha knew that Jesus loved Lazarus. So they go to Jesus and tell Him that he is ill. "But when Jesus heard it he said, 'This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it." John 11:4 The story goes on and Lazarus does die. But, Jesus raises him from the dead. He had actually been in the tomb for 4 days before Jesus raised him from the dead.

Everything that happens in my life is for God's glory. He is teaching me to let go and let Him carry my burdens.

"Cast your burden on the LORD,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22

So, tonight while I was putting Lawson to bed I decide to cast them on the Lord. While the sound machine in the background was the ocean, I just submitted them to the Lord. One. By. One. Be assured there were plenty. But, such a beautiful way to just release the pressure I feel on my chest. As I was casting them to Him, I envisioned me with a fishing pole and throwing them to Him. He was catching and I kept on submitting the burdens. Burdens I can't handle, but He can. He doesn't expect me to. It is His job and not mine.

We are trusting. We are hoping. We are having faith that He has walked the road before us and is with us always. We are claiming His Promises and believing them. We are rebuking the devil....because he is prowling around, I assure you of that! But, the Lord is stronger. His plan for us is better than anything we could ever imagine or dream of. I can't wait to tell you all about it:)

"'Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you..... Behold, I will gather them from all the countries to which I drove them in my anger and my wrath and in great indignation. I will bring them back to this place, and I will make them dwell in safety. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul. For thus says the LORD: Just as I have brought all this great disaster upon this people, so I will bring upon them all the good that I promise them."

Jeremiah 32:17, 37-42 English Standard Version




God's faithfulness never fails. NEVER. We will continue to, "Look to the Lord and His strength;seek His face always." Psalm 105:4

P.S. Kind of funny that my last post was entitled, "Casting out Fear.":)

"Casting Out Fear"

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not a been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

Fear. We all know it. As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder/PTSD this is something I have struggled with over the past two and a half years. Usually my fear manifests in some sort of fear of something. But, over the past few months God has been teaching me about His love. His love is different than anything I have ever received. There are no strings attached. It is what It Is. God is Love.

So, as He has been teaching me about His love, my fears kind of subsided. I was trusting and obeying. Joyful. Hopeful. Really. I was solely concentrating on who He created me to be and starting to embrace the good and the bad. Well, during this time the Lord put it on my heart to apply for graduate school for my Masters in Counseling. What? Seriously, I am 35 and have been out of school for 13 years. I never did "love" school. It was always a struggle for me.

I obeyed. I applied. It took me 2 weeks to complete the application process. The majority of that time was spent on writing an essay. Then last week I had the interview and test to get in school. All along I was saying, "If this is God's will, it will happen. If it is not God's will it will not happen." Period. I was trusting in Him.

The test and interview were hard on me. Emotionally and physically zapped. You see I have been in Christian Counseling for the past three years. It is amazing what the Lord has done to my heart over the past three years. I am NOT the same person I was before. Before I left the interview I was told that they wanted me in the program. What? Seriously......

Fear. Again. No. Lord, please. Well thank the Lord I didn't have full blown panic attacks. I prayed. I got in His word. But, fear continued to take over. It was covering up His love. That is why I posted this verse.

If you pray, would you please pray for me? I am kind of scared. Kind of excited. Kind of nervous. Kind of anxious. But, I am trying to concentrate on Him. This is about Him and NOT me...but oh sweet Lord, how I make it all about me. Forgive me....

Confessions

Ok, here I go.....

I, Allison, love vanilla ice cream with creamy peanut butter swirled all up in it.
I, Allison, love to laugh.
I, Allison, love for people to laugh at me. Crazy. I know.
I, Allison, am full of drama. Always have. Always will. That is the way God made me.
I, Allison, pick at my fingers until they bleed. Nervous, sick habit.
I, Allison, love Diet Mountain Dew. Crack. Seriously.
I, Allison, love my Zoloft.
I, Allison, love my therapist.
I, Allison, love BBQ potato chips.
I, Allison, just really love food.
I, Allison, am an emotional eater.
I, Allison, talk too much and sometimes don't know when to stop.
I, Allison, need to learn to not talk so much.
I, Allison, love being with my husband and kids when they are not getting on my nerves.
I, Allison, do not get on anyone's nerves......ever;)
I, Allison, have a unibrow. Yes, just like the Golden Arches at McDonald's.
I, Allison, shaved that unibrow when my mother would not let me wax it in the 6th grade.
I, Allison, love to play jokes on people.
I, Allison, love to stir up trouble.
I, Allison, love Anthropologie. I could get lost in that store for hours and spend way more money than I have.
I, Allison, did not go to Anthropologie the last time I was in Birmingham. This was a proud moment.
I, Allison, am a overthinker and try to figure it all out kind of girl.
I, Allison, have a hard time making decisions. Very frustrating.
I, Allison, have the worst problem with writing thank you notes. My mother would be so disappointed in me if she only knew......
I, Allison, have a love/hate relationship with running.
I, Allison, broke my big toe one day after talking about my best friend.
I, Allison, love the Lord with all my heart and soul.

Come join me:)

Ok, seriously.....I have had that join my blog for a few weeks now and NOT one person has joined. What is up with that? I know all my posts are serious. But, I am a funny and not so serious in my life outside my blog:)

So, my next post might be confessions of Allison McLendon. Maybe that will get some blog followers;)

Faithfulness

"God's faithfulness never fails us." This is on a little card that sits in my window right next to the kitchen sink. I received this little card during the time in our life when we were trying to get pregnant with Mac. I look at this card quite a bit, especially since it is in a place where I tend to spend A LOT of time. Kitchen sink...dishwasher:) Ok, and obviously I need to get the Windex out and clean my window before I load another dish in that broken dishwasher...hehe

Lamentations 3:22-24 (English Standard Version)

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."


WOW. Let me tell you....the Lord never ceases to amaze me. NEVER.

2 Samuel 7:18 (English Standard Version)

David’s Prayer of Gratitude

"Then King David went in and sat before the LORD and said, "Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?"


I would have never imagined all that the Lord has done in my life over the past two and a half years, but He has. He has brought me "thus far." This past Friday morning, Mac came running in to tell me about a hummingbird that he saw. He said it was so close to him. I then told him that was my grandmother's favorite bird. He immediately wanted to call her. So, we did. Bea then told me that my real father was in the hospital. He had gone in for a hip replacement surgery and something was wrong with his heart. My heart sank. He didn't want anyone to know he was in the hospital. You see, this is how he works. He tells one person and then tells that person not to tell anyone. Well, that person he told, told my grandmother. She said she just felt it was wrong for him not to tell his own mother.

I called him. We talked. It was an emotional talk. We had not talked since Father's Day. I called him because I could never find the "right" card to send him. He has been absent for the better part of my life. After talking to him that night. The Lord put it on my heart to send him scripture or something every week. No matter what. So, I started the very next day. I continued sending him something every week. Well, Friday morning before I talked to my grandmother, I had just written him and addressed and sealed the envelope. Put the stamps on and was ready to mail it. But, I got to hand deliver it instead. We ended our conversation with me telling him that I would come the next day. My sweet husband got me a plane ticket out the next morning.

I woke up at 5 a.m. to drive to Charlotte to catch the direct flight into Huntsville. Let me tell you, I was cutting it so close. I got to the airport at 7:15 (mind you my flight was scheduled to leave at 7:45). I was running down the escalator thing like Forrest Gump. I got to my seat and had to wipe the sweat off of my face. I was so thankful to have made the flight...but was laughing at myself for running like that in the airport....high healed wedges and jeans on too;)

I make it to the hospital. I am nervous. Not frightened. Nervous. I have not been around him in so long. But, oh how I have missed him. If you have read my blog before, then you know all that has gone on with him in the past. It is just so nice to see him and catch up. He looks pretty good except that his heart has some sort of electrical problem. And they can't seem to control it with medication. So, we are waiting to hear if he will have to have an ablation.

He is a good manipulator. He always has been. After being there for about an hour, he starts telling me to basically quit shoving religion on him. He is trying to intimidate me. I back off. Mind you, I wasn't shoving it down his throat or anything, but was calling him out in some of his destructive ways. I was being open and honest with him about how the Lord has changed me. He got pretty defensive(which is not uncommon) and says that the Lord works on people in different ways. I totally agreed with him and left it at that. I did back down.

I called my friend Mary Beth for some encouragement. She gave me just what I needed to hear. And I went back in there. We had a nice afternoon. Just talking and watching a movie. Then we got into some deep stuff. I kept asking him if he was going to call Bea(his mom). He kept saying he didn't want to worry her. Then he starts on a tangent bad mouthing her. Bad mouthing my brother. I could just see his pain, hurt, disappointment and anger. Resentment to the fullest.

So, I was honest with him. I told him that he pushes people away. He doesn't allow anyone to love him. He doesn't know how to love. He doesn't. It is so sad, y'all. To see someone who doesn't know what love is, just breaks your heart. It all makes sense to me now. I told him that I know that he doesn't have the desire to live. I can just tell. He cried. But, I wasn't backing down. The Lord was calling me to love him. To show him love through Him.

1 John 4:18 (English Standard Version)

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

I had to truly "trust and not be afraid" Isaiah 12:2. I showed Joe love. Christ's love. It is different than any other kind of love. His love is the kind of love that transforms. His love is the kind of love that redeems and restores brokenness. His love covers a multitude of sins. "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

Please pray for Joe. Pray that his heart would be healed. Physically. Pray that he would open his heart to receiving the Lord's love for him. Pray that this generational sin would end. Joe knows no other kind of love. He doesn't know how to receive or give love without expecting anything in return. He is broken. Please pray that he stays clean. Please pray for me. Pray that the Lord would protect my heart. That I would not be consumed with his problems. Pray that I won't have any expectations about our relationship. Pray that I would just listen to Him. To not want "my" way but His.

Lord, thank you for the time that I was allowed to spend with Joe. Thank you for revealing Yourself in such a real way to me. Thank you for teaching me to let You do the work and not me. Thank you for protecting me while I was there. Thank you for Your faithfulness to me. Thank you. I was once lost and blind, but now I see. And what I see now is You. Oh and how sweet it is....

Teaching moment today

Well, my sweet little boy Mac, is always teaching me something. I do believe the Lord uses him in ways that sometimes I can't even wrap my head around. Today, Mac lied to Leighton. Flat out lied. And he got caught. He would have gotten away with it if I had not walked in and heard him.

I left to go to the post office and when I returned, Leighton said he was going to make Mac another sandwich. I had already made Mac a sandwich before I left. Ok, I confess...today I only made it with jelly. He always complains about not wanting peanut butter and today I caved and let him have just jelly. Well, Mac proceeded to tell Leighton that he was still starving and needed another sandwich. He even told Leighton that he had licked all the peanut butter off of the edges of the sandwich he had just finished. "Oh NO you didn't..."

I looked at Mac and he knew he was caught. I said, "Mac you just lied to your father." Mac bowed his head. He knew he was going to be in trouble. Leighton sent him to his room. Leighton headed upstairs and a little while later I heard Mac crying. My heart just sank for him. This is my child that has a tender heart. He gets so upset with himself when he messes up.

Leighton came down the stairs and I just could tell it tore him up to have to spank him. Now, Lawson on the other hand could be spanked and she would start to laugh(wonder who she is like?) Anyway, it just made me sad. This is the first time he has been caught in an outright lie. My heart was just so sad. Mac told Leighton, "I wish there was no sin in the world." Oh, baby. My sweet child.

Mac stayed upstairs for a little bit longer crying and I tried to get him to come and feed the dog. We want him to be able to move on after messing up. He can tend to dwell on things when he gets in trouble. I ended up having to go upstairs and talk with him. But before I did, I went into my room and got the picture off the wall that he drew me of a pirate ship. It is not just any ordinary pirate ship. This is a picture he colored for me and was so proud of how well he had colored in the lines. He was four years old. And it actually was the best he had ever colored.

The very day he gave me this picture, I read this in my Gospel Transformation Bible study.

The benefits of the gospel are yours in full!

The gospel is truly good news. The gospel starts you out at the very top! In Christ, you are a new creation (2 Cor 5:17). You no longer live, but Christ lives in you (Gal 2:20). The Father accepts you as a son or daughter because you are in Jesus. You now live under total acceptance with no condemnation (Rom 8:1). Nothing can separate you from the love of God (Rom 8:38-39). You are a son or daughter who is dearly loved, rejoiced over, and delighted in. That is who you really are! You are defined by who you are in Christ, not by your sin.

Thus, Paul does not begin his letters: "To all those at Rome with whom God is angry....," "To the church at Corinth, who continually test God's patience....," "To all the rebels at Philippi..."

Rather, he says, "Grace and peace, dearly loved, dear children, saints," etc. You may not feel holy and pleasing, but so what? You are holy and pleasing because you are in Christ, and your works from faith are accepted. When a young child draws a picture for her father, even if it is very imperfect the father loves it, and sticks it on his refrigerator and proudly shows it off to everyone. Likewise, what you do in faithful relationship to your heavenly Father is accepted and delightful to him."

So, after I read this, I headed upstairs to talk to him. I sat on the bed and wiped the tears off of his face. I told him that Jesus does not define him by his sin. The Lord delights in him and he is dearly loved. I want to teach him to not be scared of sin. To call it out and repent of it and move on. It is so hard. It is hard for me to do. It is hard for me to comprehend what Jesus did on the cross for me and for you. But, we aren't suppose to fully understand it.

Mac came downstairs and started to feed Jasper. He looked up at me and said, "I want to be perfect like Jesus." Oh sweet, Lord. I then proceeded to tell him that we will never be perfect in this life. Only when we get to heaven. But, I also told him that Jesus doesn't want us to live a life of wanting to be perfect. He just wants to have a relationship with us and fill us with His love and His joy. I told Mac that if we were perfect, then we would have no need for Jesus. This answer seemed to help and he moved on.

Next thing you know we are laughing and having a good time again. And off he went to basketball camp. Then I am left reflecting on how the Lord uses Mac to teach me. I spent the majority of my life trying to be perfect. Beating myself up for not being able to do it all and do it right. Do it the best. Well, the good news is that I don't have to be perfect. Jesus does not look at me and define me by my sin. He does call me to repent and walk in faith with Him. To have a relationship with Him that is open and honest. I need to look to Him. Look up and see Him smiling at me when I realize I have fallen. He also lifts my head to Him when I am too embarrassed to look up. "But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." Psalm 3:3.

Lord, please help me to look up and seek Your face when I fall. I seem to fall so often, but please keep reminding me that You do not define me by my sin. I don't have to be perfect. Jesus is and was that for us. Our sins were nailed to the cross. Please help me parent my precious children that you have so graciously given me. Help me guide them in Your Word and Your Truth. Teach me, Lord. Your servant is listening.

Love Never Fails

Love Never Fails
by: Brandon Heath

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

Love. Love. Love. That is what God is, Love. Through all the suffering I have endured over the past 2 and a half years, this is what matters the most. His Love. His Love never fails you. Never. I could listen to this song over and over again and never get sick of it. It is such a sweet reminder of His Love for us. Christ. What He did for us........His Love matters the most.

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:10

Control

The definition of control is: power to direct or determine; a relation of constraint of one entity (thing or person or group) by another; exercise authoritative control or power over; lessen the intensity of; temper; hold in restraint; hold or keep within limits; the activity of managing or exerting control over something; operate: handle and cause to function; dominance: the state that exists when one person or group has power over another; manipulate: control (others or oneself) or influence skillfully, usually to one's advantage; restraint: discipline in personal and social activities. These were just a few of the definitions I found.

The other morning in my quiet time with the Lord. I heard Him say, "Listen. Hear. Accept. Listen to Me. Hear Me. Accept Me." It has actually taken me a few days to reflect on what He revealed to me.

We spent the 4th with my family in Decatur. I started to notice that I was telling or asking Leighton to do certain things. Then after I would ask him, I would think to myself, "Why did I just ask him to do that when I could have done it, or he already knew how to do it." After about a day (or two) of doing this, he politely said, "Allison, you have been quite full of instruction." It stopped me in my tracks. I apologized and asked him to help me realize when I was instructing. I hate that I do this. I HATE it. Hate is a strong word. But, I do. The very thing I hate, I do. Why? Why Lord?

Control. This was His answer to me. Ok, Lord. I will listen. I will hear. I will accept. Control has had reign over me for a long time. It is almost innate. I do it, even when I don't realize it. But, my sin of control is being revealed to me a lot lately. The power to direct or determine another person's way somehow feels a void in me. Exercising this control over others takes my eye's off my own self. Why? Because I don't want to have to examine my heart and see what is wrong with it. I would rather exercise control over another and not look myself.

But, control doesn't stop there. I exercise control over pretty much "all" areas of my life. Husband, children, money, food and time. There are more, but these are the "big" ones. Which leads me to another "c" word. Comfort. I control to feel comfortable. Yep. That is me. I came to realize this on my trip to Alabama. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone. Where I feel safe. I feel safest sometimes at home with my little family. I feel comfortable there. I feel secure there. My anxiety creeps up on me when I feel like I am not in control. Not full blown panic attacks now. Close, but thankfully not the I can't breathe kind. When I start to feel anxious now, the Lord gently guides me back to Him. I am reminded of His Word. His Truth. His Promise. And I HAVE TO BELIEVE IT!

I have to listen and look for Him. I have to hear Him. I have to accept what He reveals to me. I have to be open to His instruction and guidance. I can not ever be "perfect". No matter how hard I try. It WILL never happen until I am in Heaven. Not here. There is NOTHING perfect on this earth and as hard as I try, it will never be. I have to accept this. I have to accept who the Lord created me to be. I have to not be scared of examining myself and finding the sin in my life. The Only One who can change me is Him.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."


Dear Lord,

Please forgive me for wanting to have control over all areas of my life. Help me to listen, hear and accept You. Help me to not be afraid of not being in control. Help me realize that You created me just the way You wanted too and that is enough. Please help me to accept the love You have for me. Please help me accept the love from other people in my life. Let Your love come through me. Fill me with Your love so that I can love others as You have loved me.

In Jesus' Name, Amen

Swimming

 

Yep, that is my girl! Lawson is full blown swimming. She is full of determination and Monday as I watched her, the Lord revealed something to me. Lawson was screaming that she didn't want to do it. Then she would take a breath and swim. She would come up to the wall and pull up. Scream again, deep breath then swim, pull up...you get the picture:) This didn't happen once. This happen 30 times. She was relentless in trying to get out of swimming, even though she KNEW she could do it.

I see so much of myself in her. As I watched her, I thought, "that is exactly what I do all the time. Scream and fight because I don't want to do what I know I need to do." What I realize is this is going to be my life. My walk with Christ. Even when I scream and fight myself on right and wrong, to do or not to do....He still loves me no matter what. What a gift. I am humbled....truly. Keep teaching me, Lord. I am listening....not all the time. But, I am trying:)

Romans 7:15 KJV

"For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I."

P.S. If you have not read, "Stepping Heavenward" by Elizabeth Prentiss, go to Amazon and get it NOW! It is an amazing book. She wrote it in the 1800's and reading it, I feel as if I am there. I know how she feels. The questions she poses. Get the book.....it is transformational:)