Thursday, October 1, 2009


Over our Spring Break, or Family Griswald vacation, we traveled to Birmingham, Columbus, Georgia and then to good ole Decatur. While we were home visiting my parent's, my mom gave me this china doll. I had actually forgotten about it. But, when she told me about it...we both just wept.

You see this china doll is not like all the other china doll's out there. My mom made this for me. She told me that when all my friends were getting china dolls, she wanted me to have one so bad and she could not afford one. So, she ordered one and when it came she sewed the doll together and found this precious dress for her to wear.

And on the bloomers she had attached a little post-it note that said, "Allison's china doll. I made it." This doll is precious to me. It is precious for so many reasons, but most of all because it represents what she has done her whole life....done whatever she could to provide the best for matter what.

What you can't see is the the foot of this doll. (I didn't realize I had posted the picture of the foot:))Apparently it got broken somehow and was glued back on. Broken. This word came to me today and it just took my breath away.

We are all broken. We all have some sort of hurt, pain or suffering. Whether it be now or something in the past. My childhood was broken. It was broken because I had a father who was and is still sick. Mentally ill. Addict. Abuser. (Boy, that feels better to get that out there.) He was/is broken. His childhood was broken.

God was there with me in the pain of my childhood. I would guess that He was crying as He watched me grieve and long for the love of an earthly father. He knew. He knew then what He was going to do with my life. He could see it and I couldn't. He knew that He was going to redeem the brokenness of my life. He knew that one day I would love Him more than I can even put into words. He knew that He was going to give me Gregg, my stepfather. He knew that Leighton would be my husband. He knew.

Why is there so much pain and suffering? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Pretty deep stuff. My professor asked this question yesterday after we had been lectured to about Schizophrenia and other Psychotic Disorders. Why? Why would there be such pain and suffering? My answer to this question is, if there was no pain and no suffering there would be no need for God. No need for Jesus.

Jesus was not broken. He had no sin. He was perfect. Yet, He died for us. In Psalm 34:20 is say's, "He keeps all His bones; not one of them is broken." After Jesus died on the cross, the Jews asked Pilate to break the legs of the three that had been crucified. "So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with Him. But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs. But, one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. He who saw it has borne witness - His testimony is true, and He knows that He is telling the truth - that you may also believe. For these things took place that the Scripture might be fulfilled: 'Not one of His bones will be broken.' And again another Scripture says, 'They will look on him whom they have pierce.'" John 19:32-37

God knew. God knew that His Son's legs would not be broken. He knew that Jesus would be raised from the dead and walk. His Son would not be broken. Y'all, we are broken. But, we are deeply loved children of a living God. My genetic code might have a little bit of my earthly father, but God took the evil and replaced it with the unbroken Cross of Jesus. My identity is in Christ. The One Who died for me. The One Who died for you.

After Jacob dies and Joseph is about to bury his father, his brother's say to him: "When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, 'It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the evil that we did to him.' So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, 'Your father gave this command before he died, 'Say to Joseph, Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you.' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, 'Behold, we are your servants.' But Joseph said to them, 'Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.' Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."


Lauren said...

Allison, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I like being your blogging buddy. :)

Lile said...

You truly have a gift for writing and sharing your feelings and faith. I envy (not covet!) that!!

Buffy said...

Allison, that is such a great post. I love reading your writing! And thank you for sharing your hurt openly and honestly. It is hard, I know, but it give such freedom to me and others to be real ourselves!