Monday, October 15, 2012



"stone of help."

Why do I forget?  Why is it that the Good that He has done sometimes fades in the background of everyday life?  When I know and believe in the core of my being, that He is Good.  And He wants Good for me.

Early on in my walk with Christ, someone told me about "raising your ebenezers."  I went searching in the Bible and found this:

Samuel took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer—"the stone of help"—for he said, "Up to this point the Lord has helped us!" —1 Samuel 7:12, NLT

Right now I feel like one of the stones is being chipped and reshaped.  And it doesn't feel so great.  Life is just hard right now.  When things get hard is where sometimes I forget.  But, today I remember.  I am raising my Ebenezers in praise and worship of the One Who loves me more than I can think or imagine.  So, here are a few of my Ebenezers:

  • the provision of marriage to my husband.
  • the restoration and redemption of our marriage.
  • my children get to experience life different than my early years.
  • the longing of my real father replaced by my Heavenly father.
  • a wonderful step father who loves me like his own.  What a gift.
  • sister's in Christ, who lift and encourage me daily.  Who point me to the Lord by showing me His love.
  • my real father asking for forgiveness at my grandmother's funeral.
There are so many more.  But, what an awesome way to start my day by remembering all He has done for me.  

This is an amazing blog post on Ebenezers.  

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Last night as I was putting Lawson to bed, I said to her, "Baby, I am so sorry for the way I talk to you sometimes."  Before I could say anything else she replied, "Momma, I love you all the way to the end of the sky.  Is there an end to the sky, momma?"

Oh, sweet child.  The lessons my children teach me daily force me to my knees.  Oh, how I try and try to do everything and be everything just right.

And fail.  Daily.  Minute.  By.  Minute.

But, I have a choice: I can claim God's Promise's and hear His whispers or I can choose to believe the lies.

There I was confessing my sin to my baby girl and she spoke love to me.  That is exactly what Jesus does.  He loves me.  He tenderly cares for my soul.  Gently brings me back.  Never harsh.  Demanding.  Condemning.

Love.  Tender.  Gentle.

Thank you, sweet Jesus for the ways you so graciously shower me with unexpected blessings. When I see Your face so clearly, I am reminded of Your deep love for me.

It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom 
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again 
"Nothing is Wasted" by Jason Gray

Paul’s Prayer for Spiritual Growth

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,[a] 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.[b] 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  For watering the roots with my tears and growing and establishing Your Word and Love to the deepest part of my soul.  And binding up the broken places in my heart.  For Your kindness and tenderness toward me, the worst of sinners.  Thank you is not enough.  But, You are enough.  Only You.

756.  red birds that still take my breath away and the reminder that You are with me.
757.  friends who love and encourage me when i am not very lovable.
758.  seeing my nephew last week through skype and his adorable smile and kisses through the computer screen.
759.  sewing with a dear friend.
760.  a monday evening couch catch up with my homegirl.
761.  so many blessings.  and trying to see the blessings instead of fears feels better.  and right.