Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Fear. Panic. Anxious. Fear. Panic. Anxious.

I really dislike snakes. Always have and always will. But, my sweet Mac loves them. LOVES them. So, this morning my sweet husband went outside to get the paper and came in this morning with, you guessed it...a snake. Now, this snake was not big at all. Maybe four inches long. The smile on Mac's face was, well pure joy. He was so excited. Me. Not so much.

We went over with Mac the rules about the snake. You can not touch the glass jar. Only mom or dad can move it. I had to come up with a spot that I could not see it everywhere I went. So, the upstairs bathroom was his home for a little while. I did let him take it in his room and meet the fish (Jr. you know like Dale;)) Lawson got to meet him too.

The day goes on and we head upstairs to play for a bit before Lawson's nap time. Mac goes in the bathroom and shuts the door. Lawson asks me if she can see the snake. I say, "sure." We walk in there and Mac says, "I think he is taking a nap." Oh no, Oh no, he is DEAD. I felt horrible. I felt horrible for this little innocent snake. My husband had poked holes in the jar. He had grass and a stick. He even had a paper towel soaked in water.

I said to Mac, "Son, he has passed away. I am so sorry." Tears. Tears flowing like a river. On the floor sobbing from Mac. I felt horrible for him and the snake. I try to calm him down and he is just sobbing. He wanted a new little pet even if it was for just today. I explained to him that we would take him outside and bury him after I put Lawson to bed.

I put Lawson to bed. Then we proceeded outside to bury the snake. We dump it out and Mac touches it and says, "Mom, you want to touch it too?" I had been talking to him about how I was working on my fear of snakes, so this was the perfect opportunity to teach. I touched the snake. I touched it. It wasn't that bad. I really did feel bad for the snake.

So, as the day has progressed I have thought about all that has been going on in my life this week. Salmonella, broken toe, school out, no pool, etc. Feeling sorry for myself. Complaining to my friend(s). Then as I was taking a shower, I thought about that snake. I thought about Satan. I thought about the story Mac and I had talked about a few minutes earlier about Jesus when He was tempted by Satan while He was fasting. I thought about the snake in the Garden. Then, while I was washing I washed off the stamp that Mac had put on my hand yesterday. It was 3 crosses and above it it said, "He is Risen."

I have the Seal of Jesus on my heart. I can wash this stamp off because, He is in my heart. I have to fight the Snake everyday. Every moment. Every second. I will always be fighting Satan. But, that Seal is there and It will never go away. He has eased my fear. He has eased my anxiousness. He has taken away my panic. For right now. For this moment it is gone. I see Him. Not, all my failures and insecurities. I am choosing to see myself as exactly the person He created me to be. The person that He knows is trying so hard to cling to Him. To FLEE from Satan. Thank you, Lord.

Please forgive me for complaining today. Please forgive me for feeling sorry for myself. Please forgive me for not looking to You for comfort and security. Please help me to cling to Your PROMISES and call on You for help.

James 4:7-10 (New International Version)

7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


Mac loves bugs. Anything that is alive in nature captivates him. He is amazed by animals. In the first picture, he has found and earwig, some kind of white bug that I have never seen before and a slug. Lawson has taken to loving critters too. It is so funny to hear her say to her brother, "I want to see the white bug." Of course, it is a 2 year old so it is funnier sounding than that!

Then when I put Lawson down, we went outside to do a scavenger hunt for bugs with my camera. We didn't find too many and I told him it was because it is so hot outside that they are all hiding or looking for water. We did find that really pretty flower blooming in the yard.

Lawson was diagnosed with Salmonella. Yes. Thankfully she no longer has the fever or really bad diarrhea. But, we are confined to our house for the next few days. I was kind of anxious about it, but we have had a really great day. This is day 2 in the house. Now we need to spray the back yard for mosquito's...because they are BAD. Please say a little prayer that her test comes back negative in the next few days!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Red Bird, Red Bird

Most of the blogs that I frequent, are amazing God loving women that have a gift for writing. Writing is not a gift of mine, but oh how I wish that I could;) I read the book, "The Shack" recently and was really moved by it. It is a Christian fiction book, it really started me thinking about a lot of things. Especially about God, The Holy Spirit and Jesus. It has made me look for Them a little more.

Well, one day I was running and all the sudden I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw the most beautiful red bird sitting on a branch. Actually, I think I saw it fly and land on the branch. I immediately thought of Jesus. Seeing Jesus in that bird. It took my breathe away. Literally. I thought to myself. He is telling me that He is always with me even if I don't sense it. I mean it was a red bird. RED. Maybe this symbolizes His blood that was shed for me. Me. You. Wow, and let me tell you that almost everyday since, I have seen a red bird. I was thinking about it this morning on my run(which was so painful and miserable by the way;). I didn't see one. And I wasn't looking the whole time. Mainly, when I so wanted to stop. I didn't stop and I kept plugging along. But, I knew that I would see one at some point. Maybe not today, maybe tomorrow. But, the vision of the first one I saw is forever imprinted in my brain.

But, as I went to let my dog in from outside I saw one. Actually I saw 2. The female and the male. Just for a second. But, long enough for me to be in total AWE. I am just so thankful. Thankful that I can see Him in the red bird. But, what I really need to do is see Him in everything. All the time.

Thank you, Jesus for revealing yourself to me in such a simple way. Thank you for reminding me of Your UNFAILING love for me! Red bird, red bird what do you see? I see Jesus looking at me:)

Satisfy us in the morning with Your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalms 90:14

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Friday, August 1, 2008


My sweet boy is reading:) He came down tonight with his daddy to show me! I am so proud of him. I can't believe how big he is getting. Today was also the last day of Mac going to Eastminster. He will be starting Kindergarten on August 18th. How can this be? I had big tears in my eyes as we left school today. This is the close of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Mac, I am so proud of you son. I love you soooooo much!