Wednesday, June 8, 2011

"that momma."

picture me {im}perfectly
is a weekly project to reveal that we don't have it all together.

from hill's blog:

i will post a 
picture me {im}perfectly
blog post every wednesday 
where you will be able to link up to your blog
revealing that:

you are not picture perfect,
your kids are not picture perfect,
your house is not picture perfect,
your crafts are not always picture perfect,

inspire and 
other women 
that none of us have it all together.  

Yeah Allison.
I just published my first picture me {im)perfectly yesterday.
And today is the actual day to participate:)

Ok, so yesterday I take my kids to their first swim team practice.
Mac does fine.  I have already threatened to take the Wii away for the whole summer if he complains about it anymore.  So nada out of him.
But, La pulled out the hyperventilation number.
Lawson has been swimming by herself since one week before her third birthday.
Her coach said he had never seen a three year old with a butterfly kick like her.  
I drop her off on the steps and find a seat.
I look over and she is bawling crying.
Chest moving up and down.

She tells me she does not want to do swim team.
Inside I am thinking, "I just ordered you a $50 swim team swimsuit."
But, I kept wavering in my parenting.
I couldn't decide what was the best way to handle the situation.

To make a long story short.  I ended up getting in the pool.  Told the swim coach to let her go.
She will swim.  Trust me.  Kinda thing.
I let her go and she acted like she was drowning.
I got her out of the pool.
She sat by me until Mac finished practice.

I was furious.
I was "that momma."
You know what I am talking about.

I was so torn about what to do.
I was praying on the way home.
Lord, what do I do?
And all that kept coming to me was:
Love her.
Love her.
Draw near.

Leighton came home for lunch.
We talked and then had a talk with her.
I even took her back to the pool yesterday afternoon.
She was swimming like a fish.

So, this morning she starts again.
"I'm scared.  I don't want to do swim team."
I post something on Facebook and I got a lot of great advice.
One person recommended ice cream or something.
That was the ticket.

I told her if she didn't cry and she participated I would take her to Yumilicious.
My friend let me know she was doing fine.
I see her coach.  She tells me she did awesome.
Yeah Lawson.

We went to Yumilicious.
We ate down to the asphalt.
It was so good.
But, getting there tore this momma up inside.

You know why.
Because I see so much of myself in La.
It is like looking at myself in the mirror.
I am pretty sure my mom would tell you that I would do just about anything to get my way.
And most of the time it worked.
Manipulation Queen.
Right here.

One thing I have learned is the Lord continues to love me.
Guide me.
Draw near.
Comfort me.
Accept me.
All because of Christ.
Not me.
And He is Perfect.

1 comment:

hill said...

oh you can link up anytime during the week! it doesn't just have to be on wednesdays. but thanks for linking up again! i love your full reliance upon the Lord. love it. xoxo.