387

387.  seeing the excitement when Mac made his first goal in a basketball game.

388.  the way he looked at me and said, "You have got to call dad!"

389.  sweet sister time.

390.  baby gear hunting (not for me but sis.)

391.  finishing this book.  that is rocking my world. 

392.   good hard cry.  it. was. hard. but. good.

393.  because God is good.
394.  Margaret H. (thank you for your sweet message)
395.  nose kisses
396.  snuggles with my Jasper
397.  Fancy Nancy knee socks and twirly skirts.
398.  my sister who is in Honduras with her husband on a mission trip.
399.  this post i just read.
400.  Leighton, my man.

Seeing

377.  Today I saw the Son through the clouds.

378.  A beautiful and sweet run with LO.

379.  2 cardinals on our run.

380.  a beautiful crane standing in the water.

381.  spanish moss blowing in the wind on a cloudy day.

382.  we bless others not because of who we are but because of Who He is.
383.  Beth F.
384.  Kristen G.
385.  Kristen M.
386.  Jennifer S.

bff

best.friends.forever.

I have the best friends. 

I mean seriously.  

BLESSED.

WERD.

So, continuing with my gratitude.

Not in any particular order.

Just trying to name all of my peeps that I am thankful for:

342.  Lile.....AKA  Lile, Lile the crocodile.

343.  Amelia.meme.

344.  Susan.susu.

345.  Anna.  (first four are my mom and sisters.)anner.

346.  Donna.

347.  Jill.

348.  Jeannie.

349.  Mary Beth.

350.  Lorien.

351.  Laura.

352.  Mason.

353.  Debbie.

354.  Katherine.

355.  Gwen.

356.  Margie.
357.  Maia
358.  Shawna.
359.  Patty.
360.  Janet.
361.  Bobbie (the best therapist in the world;)

continuing with my one thousand list

362.  the red and pink hues of this morning's sunrise and sharing it with Mac.
363.  three little boys running to school.
364.  geese flying over my head as I got out the car.
365.  hearing the cardinals, but not seeing them.
366.  La twirling around.
367.  a good nights sleep.
368.  waking up refreshed.
369.  hope that doesn't disappoint.
370.  a fun night with friends.
371.  fellowship.
372.  sweet communion with the Lord yesterday in my big comfy chair.
373.  seeing how La loves her daddy.
374.  a clean house.
375.  fresh, clean clothes just out of the dryer.
376.  Ann Voskamp's new book that is rocking and changing me.

Whispers

A dear friend has inspired me to intentionally pray.

This morning during my run.

I intentionally prayed for others.

This is what He whispered to me:

"Trust Me, Allison.  I am God.  Then, you can trust yourself when you are listening to Me and My Spirit.  It will be easier for you to believe who I created you to be.  Believe who I say who you are.  Believe Me.  You are a forgiven, redeemed, beloved child of Mine."

I trust You, God.  I trust You.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."  John 10:10

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."    Psalm 34:4-5

Thank you dear Lord for Your whispers..........

What would it look like

if I believed who God says I am?

What would I look like through His eyes, instead of my own?

When I look at myself I see:

Someone who can't get it together at all.

Why did I walk out of the house without any makeup on?

Judgemental of myself and others.

Hypocrite.

Self Righteous.

Loser. 

Curvalicious.....aka Baby Got Back.

Not a good mom.

I spend too much time on myself.

I don't spend enough time with kids.

I leave them at school all day.

Only to get upset with them when they get home.

Cranky.

Emotional.

Worn out.

Bruised.

Tied in a knot.  Upside down.

Hanging by my toes, barely hanging on.

Pressured to perfection.

Needing affirmation.

Desiring something to fix the anxiety.

The worry.

The fears.

The what if's.
My OCD tendencies. 
My anxiety.
My ugliness.
My messed up self.


BUT,

What would happen if I just walked with Him?
Believed Him at His Word?


"The king is enthralled by your beauty..."
Psalm 45:11 (NIV) 

"He Behold, you are beautiful, my love,behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil."  Song of Solomon 4:1

                            "You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,
                                        and a royal diadem in the hand of your God."

Isaiah 62:3 ESV 

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are"  1 John 3:1

"For he will command his angels concerning you
   to guard you in all your ways."  Psalm 91:11

Jesus loves Losers.

 

He said in Matthew 9:12, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, and not sacrifice. For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

Sweet, precious, tender, gracious Father,

Please give me Your eyes to see how You see me.

Retrain my mind to see the good in me and not just the bad.

Forgive me.  Comfort me.  Love me.  Show me Your way.  

In Your Precious Name I pray.

If any scriptures come to mind about God and His love for us, please share them with me:)

The Spirit

339.  memory verse for this week and the next.

Galatians 5:22-24 (English Standard Version)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

340.  so very thankful for His Spirit.  so.  so.  so.  thankful.

i don't want to forget

328.  golden curls on La lit up by the beautiful sunshine on the beach.

329.  building a sandcastle with Mac and his total excitement.

330.  seeing a dolphin jumping in the ocean.

331.  spaghetti dinner with garlic bread.  made by my hubby.

332.  getting lost in my book.

333.  ballet shoes on the beach.

334.  the way this sweet older lady on the beach looked at my family and smiled from ear to ear. 

335.  The Lord has blessed me in more ways than I can think or imagine.

336.  He redeems and restores.

337.  He calls me Beloved.

338.  I am His.  

"I waited patiently for the LORD;
   he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
   out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
   a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
   and put their trust in the LORD."

Psalm 40:1-3

Just what the Great Physician ordered

318.  the beach.

319.  regular coke.

320.  The Word.

321.  Mercies that are new every morning.

322.  kiddos who are thrilled to be at the beach.

323.  warm blankets.

324.  a book that I can't seem to stop reading.

325.  good pizza.

326.  a husband who loves me in a very sweet and tender way.

327.  His faithfulness that never fails.

1.11.11

I did something that is so out of character for me.

You can read about it right here

Actually, you can watch what we did.

Crazy.  People.  Crazy.
But, oh how painfully sweet.
Let me explain.

I had been at home all day with my children.
We were stir crazy.
I felt like I was about to lose it.

Leighton comes home.
He can tell that I need to get OUT.
So, we are driving to Casa Linda for dinner.
LO calls and says, "Come over.  We are forming a Polar Bear Club."
Huh?  What?

The guys are jumping in the pool.
Crazy.  We will come and watch, because I have to see this to believe it.
We eat mexican and head on over to the Owens.

LO talks me into picking out a bathing suit. 
It is almost like an outer body experience.
Because the whole time I was thinking to myself.
No way, Jose.  Nope.  Not me.
I'm afraid.  I don't do fun stuff like that. 
I use too though.

You see, six years ago my life changed in a 24 hour period.
I was so fearful that something changed deep within me.
I went to take my real dad to rehab.
He had a loaded gun.
He was going to kill himself.

I pleaded with him to let me go if he was going to do it.
He was so drugged up that he barely made any sense at all.
I was scared.
Like scared beyond anything I had ever experience thus far in my life.
I didn't know if he was going to hurt me either.
I think I walked around in complete fear the entire time I was up there. 
I even had to spend the night.
I don't think I slept.
Because he was in the den with the gun.

His sickness stripped me of so much in that 24 hour time frame.
Not to mention the weeks after taking him to rehab.
Blah, blah I could go on and on about how he has consistently hurt me over and over again.
But, I won't.

BECAUSE.
^"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones." Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."

Genesis 50:20-21

Back to the pool situation.
Jeannie and Kelly come over.
We all get ready to jump in the pool.
Hysterical.
I am almost 37 years old and I am about to jump in a pool that is surrounded by snow.
WHHHAATTTT? 

The whole time leading up to jumping, I am telling them.
"I can't do it.  I can't do it."
Their response.  "Your doing it.  Your doing it."
So, Jeannie pulls me in.  Lo jumps at the same time.
And.  Let me tell you.  I have never experienced anything like this before.

Cold water up my nose.
They said I was throwing elbows to get to the ladder. (very typical.  i am a fighter.  fo sure)
I could not breathe.  I ran straight to the corner in Lo's basement to catch my breathe. 
Shock.  I actually did it (or was made to do it;)
Then we watched the guys do it.
Hysterical.

The kids thought it was awesome.
Because. it. was.
After I got dressed and had a warm cup of decaf sitting by the fire.
A sense of rejuvenation came over my whole body.
I did it.
I had fun and did something that was totally awesome. crazy.
And I didn't die.  My heart didn't stop.
I didn't have a panic attack.
I felt a sense of relief.

God gave me this beautiful picture of redemption and restoration.
I have been living the past 6 years of my life in fear.
Debilitating fear at times.
But, God has given me a new heart.  A new song.
He is remaking me into who He wants me to be.
Not who I want me to be.

Did you get that last part of Genesis 50:21.
Joseph spoke kindly to his brothers.
Joseph comforted his brothers.
The brothers that sold him.
The brothers that wanted him dead.

Joseph knew that God meant him good by what evil had taken place.
He trusted God with every ounce of his being.
So much so, that he LOVED his brothers that had sinned against him.
LOVE.
Not hate.  Not anger.  Not disappointments.  Not abandonment or betrayal.
Comfort and kind words.

Please Lord continue to change my heart to not be fearful.  Replace my fears with Your Perfect Love.  Peace.  Happiness and Joy.  Fill me with the fruit of Your Spirit.

1.10.11

301.  watching Annie with my girl.

302.  snuggles on the couch with my girl.

303.  learning what some of her favorite things are.

304.  lazy weekend.

305.  naps.

306.  wood burning fires.

307. walking out in the snow and seeing a cardinal.
308.  God's beauty.
309.  "I love you's" from both of my kiddos today.  unsolicited.  just.  because.  they. do.
310.  love feels better than anger.
311.  tomorrow is 1.11.11.  so cool.
312.  jasper (our doggie)
313.  hot clothes out of the dryer.
314.  snow forts.
315.  leighton's homemade vegetable soup.
316.  a hubby who doesn't mind cooking.
317.  an unexpected gift, from an angel.  someone whom i have never met.  but, will never forget.
  thank you, mamaliz:)

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to whose who ask Him."
Matthew 7:11

1.3.11

292.  ballet shoes and jeans.....together on my girl.

293.  a Sunday afternoon talk with hubby.

294.  the prospect of more growth.

295.  the Truth that the Lord loves me just.the.way.i.am.

296.  watching a movie by myself yesterday.

297.  school beginning today.

298.  free downloads here and here.

299.  finding a new song.

300.  word strengtheners.

"Forgiven beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy
Reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy, this is our new name
This is who we are now…"  Jason Gray

prayer and scripture

Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you now asking that you guide me through this year helping me overcome my fears. Please Lord, help me to forget what lies behind and keep moving toward You. I have already started looking for my first memory verse and thank you for helping me find it. I love you so much and thank you for all you have redeemed and restored in my life. Please teach me more about grace and mercy. How to receive these precious gifts of Yours. And to not run away from them.
In Jesus’ name,
allison

I am going to attempt to memorize scripture with The Siestas.

Here is my first memory verse of the year:

” Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalm 94:19 Living Bible

P.S.  I just changed my memory verse;)