Foundation

What is your foundation built upon? This past week has been difficult to say the least. Well, envision a rock (a pretty big one)and Allison is trying to hold on and not fall into the water. Allison is kicking and screaming...not wanting to fall in. Even though she knows how to swim. And swimming is tough, especially for long periods of time. She has fought for the past 2 1/2 years and knows what it is like to fall. She knows all too well what it feels like to swim really hard just trying to keep her nose about the water. She knows what it is like to fall/swim and it hurts and she DOES not want to go back.

This past week for some reason I just kept looking back. Looking back at what the Lord has carried me through. Even though I know that good came out of bad, it is hard. I don't want to go back. If I start to feel like I am slipping, I think, "It is happening again....I am losing it. I can't do this. Yeah, you thought things were going well, but look....it is falling apart." Fear. Fear of the past. Fear that the lies are true, even when I know they are not. I know His word. I have studied and clung to it. I know who my God is. I love Him. I am safe with Him.

Then why can't I look forward. My precious friend, Emily (click on "Really Living" on the side and read I was Always the Strong Willed Child.") wrote this entry and it struck me...HARD. I can't keep looking back in fear. I have to be confident in what the Lord has done in my life. It just hurts. I wish that some of the things had never happened, because they hurt. It was hard trying to find the right medication. It was hard going through intensive therapy for almost 2 years. It was hard going back. It hurt.

I prayed yesterday just to let me rest in the Lord and enjoy. I begged Him to just not let the fear creep in. Please, Lord. Well, last night I decided to up my medication just a little. I really felt like I needed to do this so I could see a little clearer. I awoke this morning and it hit me like a ton of bricks...right in between the eyes. It was as if the Lord was saying, "Allison, you have not truly let Me heal your wounds from the past 2 years. Let Me, ask Me to heal those painful memories. You know that I have healed so much in your life. Why do you continue to fight Me. Why? Do you enjoy wallowing in the "what was"? You saw what I did with the painful memories from your childhood. Let Me. Look forward."

Today's sermon was Luke 6:46-49 (English Standard Version)

Build Your House on the Rock
"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great."

My foundation is built upon the Rock. But, it doesn't mean that I will lead a life of no pain, no suffering and no sin. When the floods come, my foundation in the Lord is strong, deep and powerful. This foundation is built upon His Word. His Truth. Dr. Ferguson's children's sermon this morning was awesome! The kids sang this song:


The Wise Man Built His House

The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the wise man's house stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the foolish man's house went "splat!" [clap hands once]

So, build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
And the blessings will come down

Oh, the blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayer go up
So build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ.


Jesus Christ. Foundation. Rock. Hope. Healing. Restoration. Redemption. Refuge. Joy. Love. Blessings. I can't do anything by myself. I am nothing without Him. Why not "let go and let God?" I am Yours.

Psalm 18:1-6,30

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death encompassed me;
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

This God—his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me. Forgive me for my unbelief. Forgive me for wanting to wallow in the "what was". Forgive me for holding on too tightly to the pain because I am fearful of the joy. Cleanse my heart. Make me new. Help me accept your forgiveness and love. Help me move forward and not look back in fear. Let me look back in full confidence and security in who You created me to be in You. These things and situations happened in my life so I can be a living testimony to Your Glory. Lord, instill in me an excitement about the future. Help me look forward to Your plans for me and not be fearful of what is to come. Please don't let the devil rob me of joy ANY longer. Help my foundation in You stand FIRM. I want to live a JOYFUL life in You. I want to be Your light. I want to shine for You:)