Sunday, May 17, 2009

"My Way"

"He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way." Psalm 25:9

Something I have spent the majority of my life dealing with is this constant feeling of wanting it "my way". My way is better. My way is right. No one else can do anything like I can. Try if you would like, but no way is your way better. Especially is you are someone who constantly tries to do and say things better than I. GAME ON....

Well, my way is NOT His way. Never has and never will be. I bring this up because it seems the Lord keeps bringing this up to me. I am really being convicted of my "obsession with self". Dr. Ferguson's sermon today really hit me hard...right in the heart actually. Envision a knife and it being turned in my heart. Oh yeah, baby! He preached on Luke 6:27-36, "Who Loves His Enemies?". What Lord? Are you talking to me? Today out of all days....when yesterday I had my feelings hurt and my heart trampled on again?

Dr. Ferguson said, "Loving your enemy is evidence that the Lord has delivered the believer from his obsession with self." I would say that I spend about 85% of my day consumed with "me" and the other 15% about others. This life is not about me. I live because Christ died for me. I need to humble myself to the Lord. If you look up the word humble in the dictionary you will find this: to make meek and submissive to the divine will often used reflexively; having or showing a consciousness of one's defects or shortcomings; not proud; not self assertive, modest. In Psalm 25:9 David says, "He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way." His way is the right way. And only when I humble myself and submit to His will in my life will I receive His reward. Luke 6:35 says, "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." Wow. "Love your enemies, do good, lend, expecting NOTHING in RETURN, and your reward will be great..." Expect nothing in return.

So today the Lord has revealed to me my "obsession with self" and how I expect something in return for something I have done. Wow. I am in need of The Savior something FIERCE. Jesus died. He died so I could live. I am His enemy and look what He did for me. This is how I am repaying being consumed with myself and always expecting something in return.

Oh sweet Jesus, please forgive me. Forgive me for being so consumed with myself that I am missing out on experiencing complete joy in You. Forgive me for not forgiving someone who continues to hurt me. Forgive me for not loving my enemies. Forgive me for being so self righteous. Forgive me for my prideful heart. Forgive me for being religious righteous. Forgive me for forgetting who I am in You. Forgive me for not loving You with my whole heart. Forgive me for not being humble. Forgive me for taking my frustrations out on my husband because of what someone else has done to hurt me. Forgive me for expecting so much out of my husband. Forgive me for feeling like I "deserve" this or that. Because I don't deserve anything without You. Thank you for loving me like You do. Thank you for revealing to me faults that need correction. Thank you for Your Word that says, You will lead the humble in the right way and teach Your way. Thank you for brokenness. Because in that brokenness is where You do Your best work. You redeem and You restore, Lord. Thank you........

1 comment: said...

Allison, I am so glad you are blogging all of the miraculous things that God has done in your life. Not only is it good for you, others can see how powerful our God is in any situation. Your life proves it as far as I am concerned!
I love you,
P.S. Now I know how to leave a comment! (ha, ha)