Thankful and grateful

This year has been filled with ups and downs. But, I wouldn't trade anything. I have grown so much over this past year. I have learned that the bad stuff is where I meet my Lord. I mean I meet Him other places too, but really where I have gotten to know Him has been in the painful stuff.

I don't think that I have ever felt this loved before. He has revealed so much to me. I am so thankful. I am so grateful. So grateful for His birth. So grateful for His sacrifice for me. For me. All so I could know and love Him.....so i could live. How amazing is that.

I am so thankful for Leighton. He has truly grown this year as well. We have grown together. It has been such a journey for us. I am so thankful that the Lord led us to each other. He knew that we were meant to be together.

Mac, my sweet boy who is growing up right before my eyes. His heart is so sweet. He is just this amazing little boy. He is such a gift. I remember when he was born and just being transformed. He changed me. I loved more than I ever had before. i had to open myself up to receive his love. Oh, and does he love to give me love:) He gives the best hugs and kisses! I am so proud of him. He is so curious. So full of life and love.

Lawson, my precious little girl. I was so scared to have a little girl. Only because I know how high maintenance I was(and still am to some extent:). The Lord, really knew something when He knitted her in my womb. He knew what a gift she would be. She is beautiful. She is sweet. She is so loving. She is so stubborn(i wonder who she gets that from?...hehe) She has taught me so much about myself. She is one of the reasons how and why I found the Lord. I could have died when I was pregnant with her. I could have taken too much insulin and never woken up. But, the Lord knew. He knew that I needed Him. He knew everything.

I am so thankful. I am thankful for all the good and all the bad. I have learned from it all. I am excited about 2008. i look forward to all the memories that we will make. I look forward to deepening my relationship with the Lord most of all. It is because of Him, that my life has changed.

Where did the time go?

I can't believe we have an almost 5 year old and 19 month old! They have grown so much. I took these pictures this week for you guys. They were playing outside and were just so stinkin cute:) Enjoy!

Zoo

We went to the zoo today and had a lot of fun! We took Mason along with us since school was out. We went to see a 4D Polar Express and they even had real snow falling from the ceiling....it was pretty cool.

Then I sold all my things on ebay...yeah:) I am going to start listing more things and clear out some of the stuff we don't use at all. I am trying to be better about not buying things just to buy things.....well sometimes:)

Baby Gregg

Lawson 18 months stats

I took Lawson in for her 18 months appt this morning. She weighed 25.2 pounds. 32 1/2 inches long. She only had to get one shot...poor little girl! She is growing so fast. I am just trying to soak it all up because I know how fast it goes. I can't believe I have an almost 5 year old. Mac will be five in 3 months.......WOW

Back from Birmingham

Mac and I got back from B'ham on Sunday afternoon. We had a great visit! I loved seeing baby Gregg! He is precious:) I am praying that he stops having the brady's so he can come home. Anna, I know I have told you that I am so proud of you.....but, really you are such a good momma already. I am just so stinkin proud of who you have become:)

Mac and Kate had fun together too. They fought a little but that is normal. Jackson is so cute and full of personality:) I miss everyone so much. It is hard being so far away, but I truly enjoy my time with y'all. It is like I just want to soak it all in:)

I love y'all and HAPPY TURKEY DAY! GOBBLE GOBBLE:)

Check out my Slide Show!

Dad

I just want you to know that you are a gift to me from God. He knew you were what I needed as an earthly father. I know that you are going to be reading my blog and I have written stuff about Joe. But, I didn't want to leave you out. I want you to know that you are my father here on earth. I am so thankful for you. I am so grateful to God for putting you in my life:)

I love you,
Allie

Enough

Enough. God is enough for me. "To fully grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all fullness of God." Ephesians 3:18-19

Amazing that this is the Scripture that Det Bowers gave me when I asked him that question the night of the round table discussion group. I am grasping for His love. Not the love of Joe. So, my need for significance is in the Lord. I have found myself going to Him when I feel insecure. Saying to myself, "I am significant to you, Lord." I know that sounds silly, but it is almost like I am retraining my thoughts. It doesn't happen all the time. But, is helping me heal in a sence. Helping me heal from the wounds that Joe inflicted upon me. The emotions and feelings that he caused have really brought me to a beautiful place. A place where some people never see. A place that scares some people. A place where you deal with painful memories, but come out seeing the beauty in those wounds. Because if it weren't for these wounds I would not have found Christ. And how ironic that it is by His wounds that we are healed........

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

He is able to do more than we can imagine.........

Significant

I have struggled with words to describe what I have been going through for the past years. Somehow to explain the craziness that has been in my head. I have been trying to get to the root of the problem and figure it out. I have always been this way. I work so hard to figure it out and then once I do there is relief.

With the situation with Joe, I had to identify with how he has always made me feel. The biggest emotion assocatied with him is significance. I have never felt like I was significant to him. He never made me feel like I was important. He always chose women and things over me. I was never good enough. I could never make him love me like I knew that he should.

But identifying this powerful emotion has made sence to me and how I react to people, situations and life in general. But, mainly I am able to see what kept me away from having a relationship with my real father, Jesus Christ. I believed in Him. But, what I didn't believe was that I was significant to Him no matter what. That He died for me. So that I could live and experience a personal relationship with Him.

So I see clearly why I didn't want to have a relationship with Him. I associated Him with Joe. How Joe treated me. How Joe made me feel. But, the truth is that I do matter to Him and that is enough.

Renew you

"The life giving waters of His Spirit will bubble up with in you, like artesian springs, quenching your thirst and washing away debris that blocks your healing. Day after day, until you take your final breath, He will compassionately attend your needs. His resources are in exhaustible. His mercies are new every morning. " Lamentations 3:22-23, NKJV

"Our God specializes in what we think is impossible" Pam Vredevelt

"Don't be surprised by suffering. It is part and parcel of living in a fallen world. Instead, be surprised by God's healing power that springs forth from the depths of your pain. God is mighty within you and is committed to restoring you. He is on a mission to revive, refresh, and resurrect the dead places in your soul........When we read of God's restoring work in Scripture, we find that He always improves, increases, and multiplies something above and beyond its original condition." Pam Vredevelt

Anna....

Anna,

Please know that I have been praying for you and your sweet baby boy since momma called me last night to tell me you were in the hospital. I know how worried you must be. I have been there. I know that God has you in the palm of His hand. He always has. I know that you will feel His presence because it seems He does His best work when we are weak and worried.

Philippians 4:5-7

"The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I also am confident that all of the angels (your mom, Grandmommy Blythe, Grandmommy Horton and Tay)that love you so dearly are praying too. I love you, Anna....hugs

Halloween 2007

We had so much fun this year! Lawson was a fairy and Mac was a skeleton. Quite appropriate since he broke his arm! Lawson had fun riding in the wagon and Mac got a ton of candy:) I am going to post a few from our trip to the pumpkin patch. They were really cute there together. I also ran into old Forrest Hariston...hehe!

pictures pictures and more pics

Now that I have sort of figured this out I will try to post some more:)

Ok, I have been slack I know....

Go figure. I usually start something and don't finish. I don't know why I do that. Well, yes I do. I get too caught up in things to take the time to do something I really want to do. I really want to document things that are happening in my life. I have been reading a few other blogs and I really enjoy it. I am not a good writer and my mom will probably correct my grammer, but I know that she loves me anyway:) I am only going to let family and close friends access this until I get comfortable with posting. Also, some might be private.

I am so bad with downloading pictures. I know my family would love to be able to see Mac and Lawson too. So, I am going to attempt to post some pictures...that is if I can figure it out:) I am not at all computer savy to say the least.

Blog Blog Blog

I really want to start this blog and document our family and be able to share with our family. I am going to try:)