Foundation

What is your foundation built upon? This past week has been difficult to say the least. Well, envision a rock (a pretty big one)and Allison is trying to hold on and not fall into the water. Allison is kicking and screaming...not wanting to fall in. Even though she knows how to swim. And swimming is tough, especially for long periods of time. She has fought for the past 2 1/2 years and knows what it is like to fall. She knows all too well what it feels like to swim really hard just trying to keep her nose about the water. She knows what it is like to fall/swim and it hurts and she DOES not want to go back.

This past week for some reason I just kept looking back. Looking back at what the Lord has carried me through. Even though I know that good came out of bad, it is hard. I don't want to go back. If I start to feel like I am slipping, I think, "It is happening again....I am losing it. I can't do this. Yeah, you thought things were going well, but look....it is falling apart." Fear. Fear of the past. Fear that the lies are true, even when I know they are not. I know His word. I have studied and clung to it. I know who my God is. I love Him. I am safe with Him.

Then why can't I look forward. My precious friend, Emily (click on "Really Living" on the side and read I was Always the Strong Willed Child.") wrote this entry and it struck me...HARD. I can't keep looking back in fear. I have to be confident in what the Lord has done in my life. It just hurts. I wish that some of the things had never happened, because they hurt. It was hard trying to find the right medication. It was hard going through intensive therapy for almost 2 years. It was hard going back. It hurt.

I prayed yesterday just to let me rest in the Lord and enjoy. I begged Him to just not let the fear creep in. Please, Lord. Well, last night I decided to up my medication just a little. I really felt like I needed to do this so I could see a little clearer. I awoke this morning and it hit me like a ton of bricks...right in between the eyes. It was as if the Lord was saying, "Allison, you have not truly let Me heal your wounds from the past 2 years. Let Me, ask Me to heal those painful memories. You know that I have healed so much in your life. Why do you continue to fight Me. Why? Do you enjoy wallowing in the "what was"? You saw what I did with the painful memories from your childhood. Let Me. Look forward."

Today's sermon was Luke 6:46-49 (English Standard Version)

Build Your House on the Rock
"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great."

My foundation is built upon the Rock. But, it doesn't mean that I will lead a life of no pain, no suffering and no sin. When the floods come, my foundation in the Lord is strong, deep and powerful. This foundation is built upon His Word. His Truth. Dr. Ferguson's children's sermon this morning was awesome! The kids sang this song:


The Wise Man Built His House

The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the wise man's house stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the foolish man's house went "splat!" [clap hands once]

So, build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
And the blessings will come down

Oh, the blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayer go up
So build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ.


Jesus Christ. Foundation. Rock. Hope. Healing. Restoration. Redemption. Refuge. Joy. Love. Blessings. I can't do anything by myself. I am nothing without Him. Why not "let go and let God?" I am Yours.

Psalm 18:1-6,30

I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death encompassed me;
the torrents of destruction assailed me;
the cords of Sheol entangled me;
the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called upon the LORD;
to my God I cried for help.
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.

This God—his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Dear Lord,

Please forgive me. Forgive me for my unbelief. Forgive me for wanting to wallow in the "what was". Forgive me for holding on too tightly to the pain because I am fearful of the joy. Cleanse my heart. Make me new. Help me accept your forgiveness and love. Help me move forward and not look back in fear. Let me look back in full confidence and security in who You created me to be in You. These things and situations happened in my life so I can be a living testimony to Your Glory. Lord, instill in me an excitement about the future. Help me look forward to Your plans for me and not be fearful of what is to come. Please don't let the devil rob me of joy ANY longer. Help my foundation in You stand FIRM. I want to live a JOYFUL life in You. I want to be Your light. I want to shine for You:)

Beauty

 

"My Way"

"He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way." Psalm 25:9

Something I have spent the majority of my life dealing with is this constant feeling of wanting it "my way". My way is better. My way is right. No one else can do anything like I can. Try if you would like, but no way is your way better. Especially is you are someone who constantly tries to do and say things better than I. GAME ON....

Well, my way is NOT His way. Never has and never will be. I bring this up because it seems the Lord keeps bringing this up to me. I am really being convicted of my "obsession with self". Dr. Ferguson's sermon today really hit me hard...right in the heart actually. Envision a knife and it being turned in my heart. Oh yeah, baby! He preached on Luke 6:27-36, "Who Loves His Enemies?". What Lord? Are you talking to me? Today out of all days....when yesterday I had my feelings hurt and my heart trampled on again?

Dr. Ferguson said, "Loving your enemy is evidence that the Lord has delivered the believer from his obsession with self." I would say that I spend about 85% of my day consumed with "me" and the other 15% about others. This life is not about me. I live because Christ died for me. I need to humble myself to the Lord. If you look up the word humble in the dictionary you will find this: to make meek and submissive to the divine will often used reflexively; having or showing a consciousness of one's defects or shortcomings; not proud; not self assertive, modest. In Psalm 25:9 David says, "He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way." His way is the right way. And only when I humble myself and submit to His will in my life will I receive His reward. Luke 6:35 says, "But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." Wow. "Love your enemies, do good, lend, expecting NOTHING in RETURN, and your reward will be great..." Expect nothing in return.

So today the Lord has revealed to me my "obsession with self" and how I expect something in return for something I have done. Wow. I am in need of The Savior something FIERCE. Jesus died. He died so I could live. I am His enemy and look what He did for me. This is how I am repaying Him....by being consumed with myself and always expecting something in return.

Oh sweet Jesus, please forgive me. Forgive me for being so consumed with myself that I am missing out on experiencing complete joy in You. Forgive me for not forgiving someone who continues to hurt me. Forgive me for not loving my enemies. Forgive me for being so self righteous. Forgive me for my prideful heart. Forgive me for being religious righteous. Forgive me for forgetting who I am in You. Forgive me for not loving You with my whole heart. Forgive me for not being humble. Forgive me for taking my frustrations out on my husband because of what someone else has done to hurt me. Forgive me for expecting so much out of my husband. Forgive me for feeling like I "deserve" this or that. Because I don't deserve anything without You. Thank you for loving me like You do. Thank you for revealing to me faults that need correction. Thank you for Your Word that says, You will lead the humble in the right way and teach Your way. Thank you for brokenness. Because in that brokenness is where You do Your best work. You redeem and You restore, Lord. Thank you........

Laughing....

I just watched a precious video of a dear friend. Barkley and her husband were coming home from Jamaica and she wanted to get Claire's reaction. Well, Claire went straight for her daddy....I couldn't help but die out laughing:) Thanks Barkley for sharing your precious girl!

Seeing that video reminded me of potty training Lawson. Mrs. Dawn (her teacher) told me for weeks that Lawson was going potty at school. Let me just say that I was not all for pushing her until she was ready. Well, finally I decided to send Lawson to school for the first time with panties on. She didn't have an accident all day. I was so proud of her.

Well, we were going to Chick-fil-a that night for dinner. I said, "Lawson, you have to go potty before we can go to eat." She replies, "I NOT GO POTTY!" As she proceeds to fall on the floor....you know what I am talking about;) Leighton comes home from work and I literally was about to pull my hair out. I told him how she would not go potty for me. He immediately said, "Lawson McLendon, go potty right now or you are not going to Chick-fil-a." She replies, "Alright daddy!" You can only imagine how she said it to. Kind of with a flirty almost...ok anything you say kind of attitude. We died out laughing:) Little did she know that I was prepared to go to war with her now. We spent the next 3 or 4 days literally me sticking to my guns and not giving in:)

I will never forget how she said that to her daddy that day! We had our teacher conference today and I am just so proud of her. It just makes my heart smile to think about my precious girl! I can't believe she is about to be 3! Her party is Saturday and I am getting so excited! I will post pictures of the big event:) Sarah Dippity is coming to our house!