Monday, January 14, 2008

transformation

The past couple of days I have just been in awe of my Lord. He just keeps reminding me of so many things. So, many things that it is hard to wrap my head around them. I feel like I need to write them down to remember them all. I don't want to forget. My memory has seemed to fade since I had children. I don't know if it is my ADD or what but I read it, I believe it and just can't remember everything.

Ok, I picked up 2 African American people the other day and took them to where they needed to go. I went to pay for Lawson's school and the woman was asking for food. I walked out behind her and she asked me to give her and her "friend" a ride. She then proceeded to tell me he just got out of prison and she was HIV positive.

My heart was racing. Pounding actually. I wanted to help so badly. But, I was so scared. The social worker came out in me and I asked her all kinds of questions. I didn't have any cash to give them for a cab. I told her that I couldn't because of the carseats in my car. I really had the whole 3rd row available. I got in my car.

I thought, I am scared but the Lord has been so good to me, I am CONFIDENT that He will take care of me. I got out of my car and told them to get in, amongst the mess. I told her that the Lord has been so good to me. She said that she asked others and one girl told her that she was just too scared. I said, I am too but I trust in the Lord. She proceeded to say that the reason why they were having trouble was because of family. I said, "I know how that is" referring to Joe. We continued to talk. I could smell the alcohol. I told them that my dad(Joe) is an addict. She said, "Oh, i have struggled with that my whole life".

We talked about the Lord, it felt so good to talk about Him with people I didn't even know. Because in some ways I am scared to talk to others about my faith. But, I believe that it was Him revealing to me the power that He has in taking care of me. they asked me where i went to church. We talked about how the Lord loves you even when you mess up as long as you repent.

I dropped them off at a police substation. She said, "I am Linda Doctor and I am going to pray for you father." I wished them luck and drove off.

On my way back to my house I had tears streaming down my face. There are so many people that are suffering in this world. But, I know that is where My Lord, does the best work. I look for Him all the time. What He is teaching me? Loving Him more and more everyday. Transforming. My life is being transformed by Him. By His Holy Spirit. I am happier than I have ever been. I am almost looking for the trials, to help keep me grounded and strong in my love for Him.

Romans 5:3-5

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us".

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