seeds.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Time for Everything

 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
 a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.

Almost twenty years ago, I memorized Ecclesiastes 3 for my senior declamation at The Webb School.  I stood before my classmates and recited the whole chapter of Ecclesiastes 3.  Little did I know twenty years later this would be the verses I would come to this morning.

As I was running this morning and listening to my tunes, praying, casting my burdens on the Lord, it struck me: I am in a time of plenty.

How did I get here to this place of plenty?  Why does it look like this right now?  Will it be taken from me tomorrow?  How will I survive?  It is still kind of messy in the plenty.  Is that ok?  What am I going to do with the seeds?

 "This is my prayer in the harvestWhen favor and providence flowI know I'm filled to be emptied againThe seed I've received I will sow"Hillsong United. 

How will I react to the emptying?  I can't be scared of being emptied.  I just can't.  This is where His seeds are planted.  In the emptying.  And I have been empty.  He has been faithful to plant them carefully with His skillful Hand.  These seeds have taken root.  It takes watering these seeds to grow.  Sometimes they don't get watered.  I know what that looks like too.  But, He still takes the dry and moistens the soil and I continue to grow.  There are weeds of course.  And they are ugly.  But all the while, He continues to hold me in the Palm of His Hand.  Plucking the weeds and planting more seeds.  And filling me.  He brings the rain.  He brings the sunshine.  He brings the fertilizer.  He brings the lawn mower.  He brings the weed eater.  He brings the shears.  He also brings fences.  Actually, He is building a fortress around my heart.  Sewing up the holes that have been there a long, long time.  So, here I am.  How can I takes these seeds that He has given me and sow them?  Two things strike me:  Prayer and Praise.  I feel led to start a prayer blog.  A place where I can go to pray for people.  A place where I can go to put my specific prayers.  A place where I can put my praises.  A place where others can put their prayer requests.  A place where others can put their praises.  A place of refuge.  A place where you can be anonymous.  A place where you have a name.  It doesn't matter.      What do you think, my peeps?  How about a name?  Not so good with the name thingy.  So, please help me out with suggestions.  I am excited.  Pumped.  How about a giveaway?    The winner will get to choose.  A cross painting, done by yours truly or little rosette barrettes (or headband. or key chain.)  I will posts pics soon.  You won't be disappointed.  Well, maybe you will;)  So, please pass along.  Facebook.  Email.  Twitter.  Blog.  Whatevah  floats your boat:)  This will be a place where we can take our burdens and lay them at the foot of the Cross.  Over and Out.  Love y'all.   

636

636.  summer is almost here.

637.  only 2 1/2 days until i see this bestie.

638.  tomorrow my baby is going to be 5.  how in the world did this happen?

639.  her dance recital is tomorrow night.  i love to see her all dressed up and so excited to dance.

640.  sweet text from my hubby.

641.  a good long run this morning.

642.  nose kisses.

643.  clean sheets.

644.  fresh paint smell.

645.  a new back door.

646.  even though it is crazy busy, i am finding joy.  thank you, Jesus.  thank you.

647.  Christ.  because He is everything I need. 

629.

629.  precious girls picking strawberries.

630.  Lawson falling asleep with my picture.  Something I will treasure always.  Always.

631.  Someone leaving a sweet chalk message on my driveway.

632.  our pomegranate tree blooming.

634.  a precious Mother's Day Tea at Lawson's school.

635.  making crafts this afternoon with my precious friend, Shelley:)

620.

620.  The lady without a name.  She does have a name.

621.  A friend of mine (who I didn't even know reads my blog) told me she knew the lady I met in the Kroger parking lot.

622.  This is not a coincidence.  This is God.  And He is that Big.

623.  finishing this book. 

624.  Lawson.

625.  the sweetest Mother's Day.

626.  running a 10k in 1 hour.  at age 37.

627.  did I just say 37?

628.  happy for my friends who are graduating from graduate school.  actually accepted that wasn't the road the Lord had for me.  He taught me a lot during that one semester.  One being sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes it is no.  But, thank you for following Me.  I will follow You, Lord.  In the yes and the no.

The lady without a name.

I was talking to a close friend on the phone the other day.  I pulled into Kroger with my coupons and list ready to go.  BTW, I dislike couponing.  I get out of the car. I see a lady parked right next to me.  I walk to the door of the grocery, get off the phone with my friend and realize I have not locked my doors.

I walk back to the car and see this lady is bawling as she loads her groceries.  I can't just walk back by her and not say anything.  I can't just walk away.

So, I walk up to her.  Put my hand on her arm and ask her if she is ok.  Obviously she wasn't.  But, I asked if there was anything I could do for her. 

She started to tell me she had just found out that her 37 year old son in law's cancer had just spread to his adrenal glands.  His cancer was all over now.  Then she told me they have a 2 year old son.  Then she proceeded to tell me her husband had died of cancer just last year.

I continued to listen.  I rubbed her arm.  I literally stood there and physically felt my own heart breaking. 

I am 37.  I have a husband who I love dearly.  Two children that I adore.  I love all three more than the air I breath.

As I am listening, I am thinking, "Oh, Lord, what do I say?"  All I can say is that I am so sorry.  I am so sorry.

Then my mouth opens and says, "I will pray for you.  For them.  The Lord is Good."

She immediately wiped her tears and said, "I don't believe that.  No."

Oh, sweet Jesus, why did I say that?  Why?  That is the worst possible thing I could say.

I then proceeded to ask her what her son in laws name.  What is your daughters name?  What is your grandson's name?

Everything became weird. 

But, I did know their names.

I told her again that I would be praying for them.  She thanked me for my humanness.  And I walked away.

As I approached the door to enter the grocery store, I started to weep.  To the point I just turned right around and walked back to my car.  Got in.  And drove down to the end of the parking lot.  Put the car in park.  And broke down. 

The reality hit me that there are so many people who don't know Jesus. 

I am not one to stand at the entrance of the Augusta National reading aloud from the Bible.  But, I love Jesus.
I have doubted the goodness of the Lord.  I have questioned Him.  I have had my fists in the air.  Asking why.  What good is this going to do?  Why are You doing this to me?  Haven't You done enough already.  Can You please quit inflicting pain on me?  Please.  Lord.  Where are You?

And I have discovered that He is right here.  Right now.  Right beside me.  Walking with me.  Drawing near to me.  Catching my tears in bottles.  Breathing for me when I felt like I could not.  Tenderly loving me.  Comforting me.  Encouraging me.  Lifting my chin(Psalm 3).  My Shield.  My Salvation.  Joy.  Strength.  Determination.  Grace.  Forgiveness.  Love.

Love.  He holds all things together.  He knows my heart.  He knows everything.  And He loves me enough to let His Only Son die for me, so that I can live.  Jesus.

Lord, please heal Will from this deadly disease called cancer.  Please be with his wife Ann Elizabeth and his son Finn.  Please Lord, draw this woman who I do not know to Yourself.  Tenderly love her through this suffering.  Wrap Your arms around them and help them breath.  And let Your breath give them Life.

In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen

609.

609.  a new trampoline.

610.  sweaty, stinky children.

611.  grateful that my family is safe after the devastating tornadoes in Alabama.

612.  thank you for the woman in the Kroger parking lot.  Please Lord, draw her to Yourself.

613.  for Mac's conscience.  

614.  for Lawson giving up her thumb.  i.  am.  so.  proud.  of.  her.

615.  that even in the hard stuff, You are teaching me to let go and give them to You.

616.  for an answered prayer.

617.  magnolia's that are about to bloom.

618.  Grace.  Grace.  Grace.

619.  these photos done by Brooke Turner.  she is awesome.

God, You are so good.  Thank you for all of the blessings You have given me.  Thank you for all the hard stuff too.  The hard things of life have drawn me closer to You.  The good things have been made sweeter because of You.  Thank You.