dance.

Five Minute Friday.



The ocean.

Something about the ocean amazes and scares me.

Amazes me because God created it.

Scares me because of all creatures that swim around and I can't see them.

Everyone that is close to me knows that I don't go in unless I can see my toenail polish.  The image of the thousands of jellyfish that surrounded me as a child are too much sometimes.  I have missed out on much because of this fear of mine.

But, yesterday it called me in.

And I went.

All.By.Myself.

I stood there in the ocean for at least 30 minutes.  Amazed and not scared.  As I stood there all I could think about is how I was still standing.  The waves would knock me over and I got right back up.  Another one.  Another one.  Another one.  No nibbles on my toes.  No big shark fin popping out in front of me.  Only the beauty of the ocean before me.  And He was calling me to dance.

To live life and dance.  To abide in Him.  And when I fall, He will pick me up.  And He will twirl me around.  And He will whisper, "Dance again.  Keep on dancing, my beloved."  And I will bend my knees and give thanks to Him who created all things.

  "By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him;  for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.  Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;  and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.  And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.   Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us."

1John 3:19-24

risk.

risk.

here goes.......

so, it is tuesday of my vacation.  this five minute friday is suppose to take place on friday.  it is tuesday.  but, i am participating anyway.  because in actuality, i never follow rules very well.

risk has always scared me.  many times i have taken risks and things turn out just like i thought they would.  then there are the times when i take the risk and i fail. miserably.  why is it that i let the failure overrule taking another risk?

because i let the bad stuff become easier to believe.

essentially the lies become easier to believe.

and i want it to end.

i don't want to fear taking the risk.

stop fearing the risk.

and jump.

arms out.

palms open.

to what the Lord has for me.

and i know and trust with all my being that He wants good things for me.

for me, allie mac.

and for you.

believe.

it.

and it is worth the risk.

nothing is wasted.

nothing is wasted.

period.

last thursday my sweet husband took the kids to dinner

and

i took to the pavement.

running is therapeutic to me.

i put on my headphones and turned the music up.

the first few steps of running up the hill are torturous,

but i keep on going.

hurt.

so.

good.

right?

many mixed emotions of this day.

one of my closest friends, lorien was driving

from Pittsburgh

to Columbia.

Home.

the past year has been one filled with close friends moving.

maia.

janet.

patty.

gwen.

lorien.

so needless to say i think i had been in denial about her moving back. 

really God?

really?

the tears started to flow with each step i took.

listening to this song by jason gray:

"Nothing is Wasted."

The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope’s a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

It’s from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom 
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what’s lost will be found again

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

From the ruins 
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine

the tears were happy tears.

many tears were shed this past year.

but, those tears were seeds that had grown into Joy.

The kind of Joy that does not fluctuate with emotions or just a bad day.

the Constant.

the Good.

the Love.

the Gift.

the Giver.

of all things.

the lies i believed for so long were being replaced with Truth.

believing that God wants good for me.

that He is in fact Good.

the tears watered the seeds.

the seeds took root.

and are growing.

blooming.

and i see His face more clearly.

and i am thankful.

thankful.

748. Lo and her family moving back.

749. unexpected hugs.

750. smiling after finding a play snake in my bed.

751. the way Leighton looks at me.

752. laughter with Lawson last night as i put her to bed.

753. an amazing sermon this morning at Grace.

754. that despite the years of bitterness and cynicism, God continuously is pursuing me.  changing me.  making me into He wants me to be.  

755.  and the things He has planned for me are better than I can even imagine.  and that my friends is GOOD NEWS.

"Is anything too hard(wonderful) for the Lord?  Genesis 18:14

The answer is No.

 No.

No.

"For nothing will be impossible with God."  Luke 1:37

Glory will shine.

Shine.

On.

And.

On.

And.

On.

and take your breath away.