Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Fear. Panic. Anxious. Fear. Panic. Anxious.

I really dislike snakes. Always have and always will. But, my sweet Mac loves them. LOVES them. So, this morning my sweet husband went outside to get the paper and came in this morning with, you guessed it...a snake. Now, this snake was not big at all. Maybe four inches long. The smile on Mac's face was, well pure joy. He was so excited. Me. Not so much.

We went over with Mac the rules about the snake. You can not touch the glass jar. Only mom or dad can move it. I had to come up with a spot that I could not see it everywhere I went. So, the upstairs bathroom was his home for a little while. I did let him take it in his room and meet the fish (Jr. you know like Dale;)) Lawson got to meet him too.

The day goes on and we head upstairs to play for a bit before Lawson's nap time. Mac goes in the bathroom and shuts the door. Lawson asks me if she can see the snake. I say, "sure." We walk in there and Mac says, "I think he is taking a nap." Oh no, Oh no, he is DEAD. I felt horrible. I felt horrible for this little innocent snake. My husband had poked holes in the jar. He had grass and a stick. He even had a paper towel soaked in water.

I said to Mac, "Son, he has passed away. I am so sorry." Tears. Tears flowing like a river. On the floor sobbing from Mac. I felt horrible for him and the snake. I try to calm him down and he is just sobbing. He wanted a new little pet even if it was for just today. I explained to him that we would take him outside and bury him after I put Lawson to bed.

I put Lawson to bed. Then we proceeded outside to bury the snake. We dump it out and Mac touches it and says, "Mom, you want to touch it too?" I had been talking to him about how I was working on my fear of snakes, so this was the perfect opportunity to teach. I touched the snake. I touched it. It wasn't that bad. I really did feel bad for the snake.

So, as the day has progressed I have thought about all that has been going on in my life this week. Salmonella, broken toe, school out, no pool, etc. Feeling sorry for myself. Complaining to my friend(s). Then as I was taking a shower, I thought about that snake. I thought about Satan. I thought about the story Mac and I had talked about a few minutes earlier about Jesus when He was tempted by Satan while He was fasting. I thought about the snake in the Garden. Then, while I was washing I washed off the stamp that Mac had put on my hand yesterday. It was 3 crosses and above it it said, "He is Risen."

I have the Seal of Jesus on my heart. I can wash this stamp off because, He is in my heart. I have to fight the Snake everyday. Every moment. Every second. I will always be fighting Satan. But, that Seal is there and It will never go away. He has eased my fear. He has eased my anxiousness. He has taken away my panic. For right now. For this moment it is gone. I see Him. Not, all my failures and insecurities. I am choosing to see myself as exactly the person He created me to be. The person that He knows is trying so hard to cling to Him. To FLEE from Satan. Thank you, Lord.

Please forgive me for complaining today. Please forgive me for feeling sorry for myself. Please forgive me for not looking to You for comfort and security. Please help me to cling to Your PROMISES and call on You for help.

James 4:7-10 (New International Version)

7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

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